Solace
by Athena Alexandria
Summary: When rescue throws Jack and Kate's future together into turmoil, they find solace in unexpected ways. Jate.
1. Chapter 1

You asked me to write more hilsfoolishginger, so here it is, a kind of unofficial sequel to Stay With Me. I couldn't think of another island story that didn't involve the mythology, so I thought I'd try one of these future fics everyone seems to love, even though straight drama isn't what I normally write.

I was going to start this story with "They were rescued on a Tuesday, five months, three weeks and two days after they crashed on the island", which I've always thought would make a good opening line to a Lost fan fic, but most of what was in the prologue was rehashed in chapter 1 so I cut it.

I'm not sure I like it as much as my other story, it's definitely less original, but let me know what you all think...

SOLACE

Chapter 1. How?

Sergeant Samuel Austen was just packing up his desk for lunch when he saw what he thought was a ghost. His daughter Katherine (though no one except her mother had ever called her that) was standing on the other side of the room, looking at him uncertainly, as if she were unsure of how he would react to her presence.

Sam glanced at his colleagues to see if they'd noticed her, but if they saw her too they made no sign of it. He wondered vaguely if he was going crazy, if grief had finally pushed him to the edge of his sanity. He was on the brink of dismissing the whole incident when she stepped up to his desk and spoke.

"Hi Daddy", she said, her voice timid and child-like, reminding him of the day three years ago, when she'd come here to say goodbye. That was the last time he saw her, the last time he thought he would ever see her, before the police called to notify him of her apparent death.

"Katie?" he said uncertainly. "I thought… they told me… they said you were… how?"

"You didn't hear?" she began, checking to make sure that no one was listening before going on. She lowered her voice to be sure. "It was all over the news. The plane crashed on an island. We were there for almost six months, until one the girlfriend of one of the men there tracked us down."

Sam dropped back into his chair, his whole body trembling from the shock of seeing her again like this. Her story was nothing he hadn't heard before, but it still didn't explain how. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, then said,

"After the rescue, I went to the docks. The police told me that they hadn't found you, that there was no sign of you on the island, but I wasn't convinced. I knew how clever you could be, so I went and stood with the other families at the harbour, and waited for the ship to come in. I thought I might be able to find someone who knew you, someone who could tell me where you were, or at least, that you were okay.

"I must have spoken to at least ten different people, but they all said the same thing, 'Sorry, never met her'. I even spoke to the doctor, the one everyone said saved you all—" He might have imagined it, but Sam thought he saw the expression change briefly in his daughter's eyes: a flash of fear, followed by relief, then sadness as he described the meeting "—He told me about the fuselage, said a lot of bodies were never found. Yours could have been one of them. I wanted to keep to believing that you were safe, but when I didn't hear from you I… I never thought I'd see you again." He choked on the last words, his eyes brimming with tears.

She had tears in her eyes too now. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm sorry they lied to you. I'm sorry for a lot of things."

"Don't be," he said, pulling her into his embrace. He needed to feel how solid she was, how real. "I'm just glad I was wrong." He allowed himself to cry for a moment. He could tell from the way her shoulders were shaking that she was doing the same. When that moment was over he composed himself and pulled away, his voice steady again, his posture rigid and dignified like a soldier's should be, his heart lighter than it had been in years. "The police think you're dead now," he said. "You can start a new life. You didn't have to come here. You could have just called me, you know."

"I know," she said, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand and pulling herself together just as Sam had done. "But I needed to see you. Is there somewhere private we can talk?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. Poison

When she left his office, Kate took her father's keys and drove to the small apartment where she'd once spent her summers with him. It was messier than she remembered, as if he'd stopped really caring, and she felt a pang, knowing that she'd done this to him, that she was the reason he looked so old and worn and sad now. She wondered how much worse he'd look by the time she was done with him, by the time he discovered the reason for her visit. She wanted to believe it would bring him at least a little joy, but she knew it was probably too late for that now. She was going to kill him, just like she had her real father. Maybe not today, but one day. She was poison; he knew it, she knew it, by God Jack must have realised it by now. She had poisoned her parents' marriage, her relationship with both of them, her own marriage to Kevin, Tom's family, and now Jack… would he ever be able to trust another woman again? She'd known about Sarah, there had been no secrets between them by the end, and still, all she ever did was lie. She'd lied when she said she loved him the same way he loved her; she knew now that she was incapable of the kind of selfless love he deserved, the kind of love he'd shown her. If she wasn't, she never would have gotten involved with him in the first place. She would have broken his heart before the damage became irreparable. She would never have let things get this far.

She made herself a cup of coffee, and sat down at the table to wait for her father. When he arrived ten minutes later it was still untouched, her fingernails chewed down past the whites, a habit she'd abandoned along with the rest of her childhood.

"What's going on, Katie?" he asked when he saw her sitting there with her knees drawn to her chest, dropping his car keys and crouching beside her.

Kate heard his knees creak, along with his back, and it made her feel worse, if that were even possible anymore. "Maybe you should sit down," she suggested.

"Why?" he asked, staying put, and she realised where her own stubbornness had come from. "What's this all about?"

"Just sit. Please."

He did as she asked this time, easing himself into a chair across from her and gazing at her with that concerned father look. It made her feel like she was seventeen again, and having boyfriend dramas, only she was glad she was that she wasn't, given what she had to tell him.

"Katie, are you in some kind of trouble?" he asked.

"You mean besides being wanted by the police?" she said ironically. She was beginning to regret coming here. It felt good to see her father again, but she wasn't sure she wanted to go reopening old wounds by dragging him back into her turbulent life.

"Yeah," he said seriously, choosing to ignore the tone of her comment. "Are you?"

"That depends on what you mean by 'in trouble'."

He was beginning to lose patience with her now, she could tell. He had that look, the look he got when she was a kid and he tried to ask her about Wayne, about whether or not he was treating her and her mother well. The look he got when he knew she was being evasive. "Damn it, Katherine, what's going on?" he asked again. She couldn't remember him ever taking that tone with her before.

Kate lowered her feet to the floor before finally looking him in the eye. "I'm pregnant," she said quietly, but she knew that he'd heard her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3. Not Wrong

"Pregnant?" Sam repeated, wondering how much longer he could keep being surprised by her. Everything his daughter did, from her appearance in the world, to her wild yet gentle ways, to her darker moments, like killing Wayne, astonished him. He supposed it must be like this for all fathers, though he knew his daughter was more remarkable than most. "How can you…" he trailed off, not sure he wanted to know. She was still his little girl, no matter how much she'd changed in the years they'd been apart.

She answered him anyway. "There was a guy, on the island."

"Who?" Sam wondered if the father was someone he'd already met, someone he'd questioned at the docks. There had been a few men there her age, more a little older. A rock star, a couple of Latino guys, an Iraqi (Sam was sure he'd seen his face somewhere before, maybe in the Gulf?), a Scotsman, that cocky southerner, and the doctor… had he just imagined her reaction when he'd mentioned that they'd spoken?

"Does it matter?" she asked flatly.

"Of course it does, Katie," he said. "Your baby—" the idea still seemed so foreign to him that he had trouble getting the words out "—deserves to know the truth about where it came from. You of all people should know that."

She looked away again, biting her thumbnail until the skin beneath it bled; he could tell she was thinking about her own father, about Wayne, and whether or not she really was better off for knowing the truth. He let her go for a moment, unsure of what to say when the issue was still so tender between them, until the sight of her blood began to sicken him and he had to force her hand away.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked, beginning to wonder if there wasn't more to the story than she'd led him to believe. "Is that why you won't tell me who he is?"

She actually laughed, though the sound was harsh and bitter. "You mean did he force himself on me? No Daddy, he was a good man, not like Wayne, if that's what you're thinking. I must have driven him crazy sometimes, with all my baggage, but he never raised a hand against me, never hurt me. I was the one who hurt him."

Sam expected her to cry then, like she had as a girl when she'd had a fight with Tom, but her eyes remained dry. It scared him, how hardened she'd become. His daughter had always been tough, but underneath she was vulnerable, raw. She felt things more keenly than anyone he'd ever met, which was why he'd wanted so badly to protect her from Wayne, from her mother's betrayal. She seemed almost callous now, after more than three years on the run. He couldn't tell if it was because she didn't care anymore, or because she still cared too much.

"So where is he?" he asked, standing, pacing, his mind working overtime as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he was really having this conversation with Katie, with the little girl he'd taught to hunt and fish and ride her first bicycle, the beautiful little green-eyed moppet who would climb into his lap rather than sit on the couch, who would wait on the porch for hours before he came to pick her up for the summer, his only child, who would now not only be a fugitive, but a single mother to boot. This was not how he'd imagined his first grandchild's entrance into the world. "Does he even know?"

She took a while to respond, and he knew she was considering lying. He was glad that she didn't.

"No," she said finally. "I didn't find out until after we were rescued. I haven't seen him since we got off the boat."

"You are going to tell him though, aren't you?" he asked gently, sitting down again. "He has the right to know."

She turned her gaze to her coffee cup, twirling the handle with one finger to avoid meeting his eyes. "I still don't even know if I'm going to have the baby. I can't keep it." She licked her lips nervously, afraid to continue, it seemed.

Sam took the cup away from her gently, placing his hand on top of hers to remind her that he was there for her whenever she decided to finish.

She smiled gratefully, her courage renewed by his gesture. "The day I found out, I went to a clinic. I wanted to get it over and done with, but they wouldn't give me an appointment until the next day. I never went back. I couldn't. I thought that was what I wanted, but now…"

He knew she expected him to be shocked by what she'd planned to do, but he wasn't. He understood why she'd felt trapped, why she felt that that was the only answer, not from first hand experience, of course, but from something her mother had told him a long time ago. Twenty-eight years ago, to be exact.

He made a decision.

"You know, Katie, this isn't something I ever wanted to tell you, but I think it's something you need to hear."

She met his gaze now, and he sensed that she knew what was coming.

"When your mother first found out that she was pregnant with you, she thought about ending the pregnancy. She thought it would be easier than telling me the truth, I guess.

"We'd talked about having kids before, but it was never the right time, and then suddenly, there you were. She wanted you too much to let you go, so she sent me a letter, telling me everything. I know she could be selfish at times, and that she wasn't always the best mother, but she loved you. She never would have stood up to me like that if she didn't.

"I was angry at first – I thought about leaving her, but I didn't have the heart. Then you were born, and the first time I saw you I knew I'd made the right decision, because I wanted you too. It didn't matter where you came from, because on that day, I claimed you as my own. You may share Wayne's blood, but you'll always be my daughter."

He squeezed her hand gently. "It's okay to want this baby, Katie. It doesn't make you a bad person to love it even if you know that in a perfect world, it wouldn't exist. It's natural, and it's not wrong. It would be wrong if this decision was easy, if you didn't feel anything at all."

They were both crying again now as she stood to crawl into his arms like she had when she was a little girl. It was the most honest conversation they'd ever had, the first time they'd ever really talked about her mother's affair with Wayne. Sam was glad it was all out in the open now; he wanted her to know that he loved her, not because he had too, because he didn't, but because he wanted to, because he wanted her. She wasn't a mistake, she was a gift. His gift. His reward for forgiving her mother, even though at the time, it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

"I'm so glad you stayed," she said, burying her face in his chest, so that her words were muffled, and her tears stained his shirt, "because otherwise, I would never have known you, and I don't know how I would have survived all of those years with Wayne if you hadn't shown me what a real father was. I love you, Daddy. That's why I came here, because I needed you to make me feel like this would all be okay."

He stroked her hair as he held her, hoping it would calm her a little, like it had when she was a child. "And it will be," he said, not really knowing it, but believing it, because he wanted it to be true more than anything, "but you have to tell the father. Even if he doesn't want it, you have to give him that choice."

She pulled away so she could look at him, her eyes wide and wet, but earnest, devoid of any sign that she was being dramatic. "I know, Daddy, but what if it can't ever work? What if he does want this baby, and it ends up ruining his life?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4. Silence

Though they'd agreed that telling Jack was the right thing to do, Kate couldn't seem to work up the nerve.

"When we got to Australia I just took off, without even saying goodbye," she confessed to her father one day. "I wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to see me again, baby or no baby."

"He'll be hurt, Katie, anyone would be, but you have to have faith that he loves you enough to get past it," he told her, but this didn't help her much when she thought of the look on Jack's face every time she'd betrayed him, every time she'd shut him out of her confidence. She couldn't stand seeing that pain, knowing that she'd caused it. It made her feel worse that her conscience ever could.

All he'd ever asked was that she be honest with him, and yet, on the day of the rescue, she'd been so afraid of his disapproval, so afraid of that look, that she hadn't had the heart to tell him of her decision, that she was running again as soon as they reached the mainland. Saying goodbye was too hard, especially when she knew he wouldn't understand, so she'd said nothing, allowing him to believe what he'd always wanted to believe: that she'd changed, that she was good, that they had a chance, if not a future. But this was just another lie, even if she'd allowed him to tell it to himself this time. It was another betrayal, her worst yet.

He wouldn't be able to forgive her; she'd pushed him too far. It would be better for both of them if he never knew. At least then she'd never have to suffer the humiliation of him thinking she'd done this to him on purpose, that she was trying to manipulate him again. She didn't think she could stand to hear those kinds of accusations, even if she'd earned them with her deceit.

The first month passed, along with Kate's morning sickness, and she started to show. She thought about calling Jack then, but when the receptionist at the hospital told her he was in surgery, she hung up without leaving a message.

She tried again the next month when the baby started moving, but he'd left the hospital early, and the nurse who answered the phone wouldn't give her his home number. She supposed she could have told her her reason for calling, but she didn't want to embarrass Jack that way.

It was two months before she picked up the phone again.

This time she was patched through to his office, but when she opened her mouth to speak, she found that she couldn't. It had been six months by then: what if he'd moved on? What is there was someone else? More importantly, what would she say? "Hi, it's Kate, from the island, remember? The man-eating fugitive who used you, then ran away? Well, guess what? I'm pregnant, and you're the father. I just thought you should know, even though I'm in Washington and you're in L.A. and it can never work between us, not unless you want to lose all of your patients and probably get your heart broken again when I go to jail. I was thinking of Sam for a boy, by the way, after my father. What about you?"

No, there was nothing to say, not anymore.

By the time she opened her mouth again to tell him that this was a mistake, he was already gone, the silence on the other end of the line more final than any she'd ever heard.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm still not sure I like this story, but since all the reviews I've gotten so far have asked me to continue, here are two more, slightly shorter, chapters. Enjoy.

Chapter 5. Did You Love Him?

After that last disastrous phone call, Kate didn't try to make contact again. Whenever the thought crept up on her, she would banish it immediately, remembering that silence, and the weeks of teary nights it had induced. It had been almost a month before she could fall asleep without crying; the wounds she had reopened were only just beginning to heal.

She only dreamed of him occasionally now, but the days where she dreamed that she was back on the island with him were the hardest to get through. On those days, the only thing that sustained her was the knowledge that she hadn't lost him completely, that part of him still lived on inside of her, inside of their baby. On those days she was glad she hadn't acted rashly.

While Kate was doing her best to let Jack go, her father didn't seem as willing to cut him out of their lives. Rather than respect her wish to avoid the subject of the baby's paternity, he found subtle ways to gather information, probing into her time on the island, and the events that had taken place there.

She told him about the crash, and her friends, and even the Others, but she never mentioned Jack, not even in passing. She wondered if he could tell by her omission, by the fact that the doctor never featured in any of her stories, at least not concretely, but if he knew, he never said anything.

He never asked again either, after that first day, though he did come close one afternoon when they were sitting on the porch, and she put his hand on her belly so that he could feel his grandchild kick.

"Did you love him?" he asked, out of the blue, and it took her a moment to realise that he was talking about the father and not her baby.

"Yes," she said, knowing that it was the truth that he wanted to hear. "More than anything. But it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6. A Second Chance

When Kate was almost nine months pregnant, Sam made a decision. He wasn't going to wait for her to come around anymore, and confirm what he already knew. He was going to go to L.A. to talk to the father, and if he could, he would convince him to come back to Washington afterwards, to work out his issues with Kate.

He couldn't watch his daughter pine for a man whose face he couldn't even remember anymore, sitting by the window with her hand on her expanding belly, eyes dull, but glistening with unshed tears. Even if she was right, and they had no future together, he thought she at least needed closure. She shouldn't have to carry this burden alone, not when they both knew there was a chance that she might not be around to see her baby grow up, that eventually she'd get caught, and he wouldn't be able to protect her from jail, not after all the running, and hiding, and lying, and evading justice she'd done.

While he lived, Sam would always be there for her child, but he was no match for a parent, a family. That was something his own daughter had never had, something he'd never been able to give her, which was perhaps why he wanted it for his grandchild so badly. He wanted her baby to feel loved and secure, not confused and lonely like its mother, who he'd tried so hard and failed to protect from the evils of the world. Though the timing couldn't be worse, it was a second chance for all of them, and he was determined not to screw it up this time.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm glad you guys like the Sam stuff. I've never seen him play such a major role in a fan fic, so I thought it would be cool. Jack's in this chapter, so that should make you all happy. I'm still working on chapter 8, but it's another Sam chapter, him reflecting on the meeting. Then it will be Kate, then probably Jack again, then I'm not sure. I do know where I'm going with this though, so don't worry. And have faith, this is definitely a Jate fic, just not the kind a lot of you guys are used to. As I hope the title implies, it won't end with them playing happy familes, but that doesn't mean it won't hopeful.

Sawyer is not going to be the solace of the title, by the way, because even though I haven't seen I Do yet (season three doesn't air in Australia till February), I'm not impressed. (For any X-Men fans, I like to say that their relationship should be like Jean and Wolverine's, intense, but fairly one-sided. I think Sawyer will always love Kate, and he should, but he needs to let Jack have her, because he'll only hurt her in the end. Jack being Cyclops here, by the way. For anyone familiar with the comics, and not just the movies, I like to say Ana is Emma Frost, because she throws a spanner into Jack and Kate's relationship, and seems to enjoy flirting with Sawyer.)

Chapter 7. Not My Problem

When Jack stepped out of the OR, frustrated and covered with blood, one of the nurses stopped him.

"Dr. Shephard? There's a man waiting to see you," she said. "I told him you were busy, but he says it's important."

"I'm not on duty tonight," Jack told her as patiently as he could, stepping past her and heading for the locker room. "Tell him he needs to speak to Dr. Smith or Dr. Goddard."

"He says he's not a patient," the nurse insisted, following him down the hall.

Jack's composure was beginning to suffer by then. He didn't have the patience he once had, not since returning from the island. All he wanted these days was to do his job and be left alone. "Then ask him which one of the patients he's here about, and find out who's handling that case," he said, wondering what they were teaching nurses in college these days. "I'll deal with it if you tell me is mine, but otherwise, it's not my problem."

This didn't seem to deter the nurse. "He says he's not here about a patient either," she told him, almost running into the back of him when he stopped in the middle of the hall, cursing under his breath.

Jack closed his eyes, dropping his head and massaging the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "Then what does he want?" he asked when he opened them again, trying not to snap in his frustration.

"He wants to see you. He won't say why, but he's been waiting six hours. I think you should probably talk to him."

Jack sighed; his plan for a shower and a stiff drink was looking more and more unlikely.

He followed the nurse back the way he'd come and sure enough, there was the man, perched on a chair in the waiting room, looking remarkably patient for someone who'd been there the better part of the day.

Jack's visitor wasn't someone he recognised by sight; he looked to be in his fifties, with close-cropped grey hair and a careworn expression that made him appear older than his years. Jack wondered what they could possibly have in common; something told him that this man wasn't a doctor, he didn't carry himself with the right arrogance, and he was pretty sure he wasn't one of his father's friends. They all wore Rolexes and expensive suits, not department store bought slacks and sweaters like the ones this man was sporting.

"Dr. Shephard?" he said, standing to shake Jack's hand when he approached.

"Yes, sir," Jack answered, maintaining a visage of politeness, though he wanted desperately to slip off unnoticed so he could deconstruct his last surgery in peace. They'd lost the patient; he wanted to be sure that he'd done everything he could.

"My name is Sam Austen," the man said, and suddenly Jack remembered: he was there at the docks, the day the ship transporting them from Australia came in. "You don't know me, but you knew my daughter Katie," he added, "though I think she goes by Kate these days."

It came back to Jack then, how he'd looked this man, Kate's father, in the eyes and lied. He'd figured it was up to Kate to contact him once she was safe. He guessed she never did.

"If you came to ask me where she is," he said, trying to fight down the intense emotions that just her name brought out in him, "I haven't seen her since we left Australia." He figured there was no sense in perpetuating his lie when her father obviously didn't believe it.

"I know," Sergeant Austen said. "But I have. That's why I'm here."

It was difficult for Jack to pretend that this didn't affect him, but he resisted the urge to ask about her, where she was, how she was doing, if she missed him, and instead said, "Look, I'm glad you found her, but this really doesn't have anything to do with me. It isn't my problem." Not anymore, he added silently. She'd made that clear in Sydney when she'd disappeared without saying a word, driving it home that night, three months ago, when she'd called and waited for him to hang up without even bothering to let him know she was there. He'd known it was her, of course, he would have even if the sound of her breathing hadn't been as familiar to him as his own, but he wasn't going to speak if she wasn't.

He wasn't going to chase her anymore.

Jack turned to go, but her father's words drew him back.

"I know you were involved," he said, his voice echoing around the waiting area, drawing the attention of the nurses and the other visitors.

Jack took a step closer, lowering his own voice so that they didn't hear. "She told you that?"

"She didn't have to. I know my daughter, Dr. Shephard. She's very good at keeping secrets, but she's not very good at hiding the truth. Not from me, at least.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but when something causes her too much pain, she avoids it. She never talks about Wayne, she never talks about Tom, and she never talks about you. In the seven months she's been staying with me, she hasn't mentioned your name once, not in all the times I've asked her about the island. Now, either you weren't there, or I do still know her as well as I think, even after all this time."

Jack was stunned. He'd figured she must feel something, their relationship had been brief, but intense, but he hadn't allowed himself to entertain the possibility that she might miss him as much as he missed her. It was easier to believe that she'd wanted to leave, that she'd grown tired of him and moved on. "We weren't just involved, Sergeant—"

"Sam."

"–Sam," he said. "I loved her. I wanted to help her, to build a life with her, but she made it pretty clear that she didn't feel the same way."

The sadness in the old man's eyes increased as he said, "There's no excuse for what she did, Jack, but her situation is complicated, I know that you know that. All I'm asking is that you talk to her. I think there're some things the two of you need to sort out."

"No," Jack said firmly. "I don't think that's a good idea. If she really wanted to talk to me, she would have come here herself. With all due respect, Sergeant, I'm guessing she doesn't know that you're here." He softened, seeing the disappointment on the old man's face. If they had nothing else in common, they both loved Kate, and they'd both been hurt by that love, deeper than anyone else could imagine.

It wasn't hard to fall in love with Kate. Jack of all people knew that. She was beautiful, intelligent, and sweet, everything he'd ever wanted, or at least, what he thought he'd wanted. She was as close to perfect as any woman he'd ever met, but to love her, even when she'd tried to stop him, that was harder than almost anything else he had done in his life.

He couldn't do it anymore, couldn't watch her self-destruct. It was time to let go.

"You seem like a decent man, Sergeant, and a good father, and I sympathise with what you're going through, but I can't do that again. I'm sorry, but I just can't. I need to move on with my life, and so does she."

Kate's father nodded his assent, his eyes registering defeat. "That's your prerogative, son. I appreciate you hearing me out. Just take this, please," he said, holding out a business card to Jack. "My address is on the back if you change your mind."

Jack thanked him and took the card, staring at it as the old man walked away. If he really wanted to, he could be with Kate again in just a few hours. He just wasn't sure that he did.


	8. Chapter 8

You guys are lucky, two updates and three chapters in one day. I'm on a role, so at this rate, I should be finished by next week. I'm reaching the end now, so resolution is coming. I hope you guys won't get too mad at me if I don't end it with Jack and Kate getting married though...

Chapter 8. For The Best

The flight from L.A. was a long one for Sam. Rather than watch the in-flight movie, or listen to music like the other passengers, he replayed his conversation with Jack over and over in his head. The man still loved Kate, that much was evident, but was she right, was it enough?

Once Sam would have said yes; he'd thought that with Diane, but it hadn't worked out, and poor Katie had suffered. Was he really prepared to let her suffer again, or the baby, it things didn't work out with Jack? Maybe the doctor was right; the only thing left for them to do was move on.

Sam wasn't a religious man, but some days, he was pretty sure he believed in fate. His marriage to Diane had brought him a beautiful, though non-biological, daughter; maybe there was no other rhyme or reason for it. Maybe he wasn't meant to have Diane, just Kate.

If that was the case, then, maybe, like them, Jack and Kate were never meant to be forever; they were just supposed to meet so that they could fix some of the problems in each others' lives, and produce the child that his daughter now carried.

It wasn't perfect; Sam wasn't even sure it was fair, but neither was life, most of the time.

It was late by the time he let himself into the house, but Kate wasn't in bed like he'd expected. As he crept past the living room to the stairs, he caught sight of her curled up on the couch, illuminated by the light of the TV, her eyes closed, a blanket draped loosely over her almost full-term belly.

She'd obviously been waiting for him.

She looked so angelic, so childlike and yet so sweetly maternal, that Sam felt a wave of affection wash over him. She was too heavy to carry now; his back was weak from thirty years of carrying heavy artillery before he'd retired to sit behind a desk, so he crossed to the couch, adjusting the blanket so that it covered her slim shoulders. He leaned down to kiss her goodnight, but to his surprise, her eyes fluttered open, surveying him with annoyance.

"I called your office today," she said, struggling to sit up. She had to accept his help in the end, despite her obvious pleasure with him. "I had a craving for ice cream, and I can't really go out, so I was going to ask you to pick some up on the way home.

"They said you weren't there, you had some kind of family emergency. You went to L.A., didn't you?" she finished accusingly, her hand flying protectively to her mid-section.

"You caught me, Katie," he said, knowing that if he lied, there was a chance that Jack would contact her, and expose him. He'd seen the flicker of doubt in the younger man's eyes as he'd taken the card. No wonder their relationship had been such a mess; Jack seemed to be as stubborn as Kate. "But someone had to do something. Have you seen yourself lately, you're miserable?"

He watched her as she tried to keep up her pretence of anger, but after a moment, her expression softened, curiosity getting the better of her. "What did he say?" she asked quietly.

Sam sat down on edge of the coffee table in front of her, taking one of her hands gently in his. She looked up at him with a teary smile, fearful of the message he was about to relate, he supposed. "I didn't tell him about the baby. I figured that was up to you. I just laid the foundations."

"How?"

"I just told him that you were here… and that you missed him."

"But he didn't come back with you." It wasn't a question, but an acceptance.

"No." Sam admitted regretfully, withdrawing his hand from hers, and lifting it to brush an errant curl out of her eyes.

She pushed it away, fighting off tears, but when she spoke again, her voice was hard and proud. "I guess that's it then," she said, a little too brightly. "He's moved on. Now I have to do the same."

"But the baby—" Sam started.

She cut him off, determined not to let him in, as always. "The baby doesn't change anything. He doesn't want me, Daddy," she said, her voice wavering slightly, the vulnerability in her tone breaking Sam's heart. "I waited too long, and now… If I tell him, he'll try to do the right thing, and I don't want him to feel obligated like that.

"I told you when I came here that even if we got back together, it wouldn't work out. He's a doctor, and I'm a…" she stumbled over the word, "criminal. Maybe this is all for the best."


	9. Chapter 9

Here's chapter 9. It's Kate again, but don't worry, Jack will be in the next one...

Chapter 9. Letting Go

In spite of her brave words, that night, for the first time in two months, Kate cried herself to sleep. She had always known that Jack wouldn't be able to forgive her for leaving, but this, this made it real. He was gone, and no amount of wishing things were different would ever bring him back.

She allowed herself this one night to cry, but after that, she was determined to bear her heartbreak with as much stoicism as she could muster. She had already put her father through so much; she didn't want him to see her wallow in the pain he had inadvertently caused her.

She got up early the next morning to make him breakfast before he left for work, doing her best to reassure him that nothing had changed, that she was coping with her disappointment. He watched her carefully across the table; Kate could feel his eyes on her even when her own were on her plate, but not a single word passed between them about the scene the previous night.

It was as if it never happened; if it weren't for the baby that kicked furiously around inside her, Kate might have begun to believe that the island, and Jack, was a dream.

In some ways it was.

But now that she had woken up, it was time to face reality.

Kate kissed her father goodbye, and went to clean up the kitchen, working her way through the whole house. It wasn't very big, but her movements were slow and cumbersome, so that it ended up taking her most of the day.

While her body remained occupied, her mind did not, calling up unwarranted memories of Jack. At first she rebelled, trying to send them back, but after a while, she gave in to it, dusting each off and storing it carefully in its right place.

She remembered meeting him on the beach, the day of the crash, his blood staining her hands as she sewed him back up, his words leaving a deep impression on her mind. She would never forget what he said, the way he told her to confront her fears; she knew it would come in handy when she eventually decided to stop running.

She remembered flirting with him at their respective camps, and kissing him in the jungle, knowing that giving him that kind of hope was wrong, but wanting to give him something anyway. Her only regret was that she couldn't give him more of herself, because by that time, her life was no longer her own.

She remembered fighting with him, about the caves, about Ethan, and Locke, about so many things that didn't seem to matter now that they were home and apart. She wished she hadn't always felt compelled to fight him, that she'd taken the time to make more good memories with him.

But most of all, she remembered that night, the last they'd spent together. Though she hadn't known about the rescue at the time, in some strange way, it felt like saying goodbye. She liked to think that that was the night their baby entered the world, a tangible reminder of something she knew she'd never forget.

She hoped the baby had his eyes, so deep and soulful and full of love for her, even when she didn't deserve it. She hoped it would take after Jack, and not her.

When she finished cleaning, Kate sat down on the couch, her whole body aching with the exertion. The memories were still there, but they were more ordered now, less wayward and unruly. She knew she'd never forget, but in some small way, she felt like she'd begun to let go.


	10. Chapter 10

Today I have for you the long awaited chapter 10. Hopefully it's more of what we've come to love about these characters: Kate being evasive and vulnerable; Jack being frustrated and confused, but both being very much in love with the other. Sam's not in this one, for obvious reasons (he's at work if you were wondering), but he'll be back soon. The next chapter carries on from this one, only it's Kate's, then I'll probably do a short Sam one. I know where I'm going with all this, so don't worry, but I'm kind of discovering some things as I go along. A lot like the real writers, actually, only I'm nowhere near as good. Enjoy, though, and let me know what your thoughts are. I can't promise to incorporate everything, but I love hearing from you guys. (By the way, when I said Sam lived in Washington, I meant Washington State, as per the reference in All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues. For the sake of this story, his home is in Seattle.) I'll update again soon. In the mean time, you guys could check out my other story, Stay With Me... (hint, hint!) It has a happy ending, which is something I know you all love...

Chapter 10. Mistakes

He didn't know how it happened, but somehow, less than a week after Kate's father had given him his card, Jack found himself standing outside their door in Seattle. He had only taken it to be polite, intending to throw it away once the old man was gone, but somehow it had made its way into the pocket of his lab coat, remaining there until he headed for the airport six days later.

For the last nine months, he'd thought of nothing but seeing Kate again, but now that he was here, Jack was filled with apprehension. He didn't know what to say to her, or how to act; the anger that had sustained him at first had begun to melt away, leaving him regretful and bitter, but ready to forgive her. Even if things could never go back to the way that they were, and he still wasn't sure that they could, he needed to do this for his own conscience, for his own peace of mind. He needed to say goodbye, not just in some ethereal cosmic sense, but in person, so that she could hear. If she hadn't been lying completely, if their relationship had meant even half to her of what it did to him, then he was pretty sure that she needed that too.

He knocked on the door, his heart in his throat, waiting for her to appear. It took her a moment, then the peephole slid open as she checked to see that her visitor was safe. There was a pause; she must have seen him, but she made no move to let him in.

"I know you're in there, Kate," he said, frustrated that he'd come all that way to stand out in the street. "I spent the last fourteen hours in surgery, then, instead of sleeping like any sane person, I got on a plane for the first time since the crash. The least you could do is talk to me."

Another moment passed, then Jack heard a key turning, and the snap of a deadbolt, and the door creaked open, not all the way, but enough for him to see her framed in the gap.

"Okay," she said softly, her eyes distracted, "I'm here. What did you want to say?"

Jack shifted his weight irritably, memories of all the times she'd tried to shut herself away from him flooding back into his consciousness. It was almost fitting, the way she barred his entry into her house after he'd crossed three states to see her. "I really don't want to have this conversation in the doorway, Kate," he said, noticing for the first time that he only ever seemed to use her name when she annoyed him. "Couldn't you at least invite me in?"

"Jack, I…" she started, trailing off. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn he saw fear in her eyes. "This really isn't a good time. Maybe in a few weeks…"

"I won't be here in a few weeks, Kate," he said, part of him hating the fact that he was issuing an ultimatum. It was a dirty trick, but at moments like this she left him no choice. "If you won't talk to me now, then that's it. I'm leaving, and I won't be coming back."

He had her backed into a corner, and she knew it. She closed her eyes for a moment, and he could see that she was waging a silent battle with herself. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the door swung open the rest of the way, admitting him into the foyer.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she murmured, closing it behind him and turning to face him.

To say he was shocked would have been an understatement. What he saw when he looked at her rocked him to the core. She was pregnant, pretty close to delivery if his medical training had taught him anything.

Nine months. It had been almost nine months since he'd seen her. Either she had moved on, and quickly too, or he'd been wrong when he told her father that she was no longer his problem. No wonder the old man had wanted him to come to Seattle so badly.

Jack wondered what he would have done if her father had told him. It didn't take him long to realise that he would have been on the next plane. Was that why she'd kept this from him, for fear of them trapping each other for the baby's sake? Or were his initial doubts right, was there more to this story than she was prepared to share with him? The image of her and Sawyer together at The Others' camp flashed through his mind, but he quickly dismissed it. She'd never given him any reason to think she'd been unfaithful; knowing what he did of her family history made it difficult for him to believe that she'd ever cheat.

When he was able to speak again, he tried to sort through the dizzying mess of questions circling his head, realising that at this point, there was really only one thing he wanted to know. "Why didn't you tell me, Kate?" he asked. "I could have helped you."

"I know," she said, her posture exuding a mixture of anxiety and defensiveness. "But I didn't need your charity, Jack. If you weren't interested in me—"

"I came, didn't I?" he snapped, simultaneously amazed and appalled at how quickly this was escalating into a fight.

It was her turn for a low blow. "Only because my father asked you to."

"Before he came to L.A, I didn't even know where you were," he returned, seeing her face begin to crumple. She was going to cry soon. "It's not like you ever told me what your plans were."

Or not. "You really think I had a plan, Jack?" she said fiercely, turning on him with more venom than she had since the day she'd first kissed him in the jungle. "My whole life's just been one big series of screw ups."

Hearing her talk like that again, Jack's anger began to dissolve, like it always did. "That's not true, Kate," he said, his voice gentler now. "You've made some mistakes, but so have I."

She wasn't ready to let go of her own anger yet, though Jack could see that she was fighting back tears. "Like me? This?" she gestured to her swollen stomach, daring him to agree.

"No," he said firmly, hoping that she could read the sincerity in his eyes, which were now glazed with tears of their own. "That was never a mistake, not you, and not that baby." He moved closer, seizing the opportunity to approach her now that the barriers she had raised between them were starting to come down. "I loved you, Kate, I still do. You were never a mistake. Not to me."


	11. Chapter 11

Didn't I say you should all be patient? Obviously Jack was going to turn up some time, but I had to wait for the right moment. He doesn't like giving in to Kate too easily.

I've changed my plan, by the way. This will be a short Kate chapter, then Jack, then Sam, because I wanted to get both their perspectives on the meeting. In chapter 13, provided I stick to my plan this time, we'll see what Sam thinks of Jack's arrival. I'll probably skip forward a few days in that one, or the next, so we can hurry up and get to the jaby. (I just wanted to use the word jaby, because I think it's cute. I like the fact that a skaby does sound like an STD. It gives me a sick sense of satisfaction. Jack's going to deliver the baby, by the way… it comes in handy having a doctor for a boyfriend!)

Chapter 11. Where to Start?

One minute Kate was fighting Jack, the next she was in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably, and clinging to him as if she'd never let go. This was always happening with them; no matter how hard she tried to be strong in his presence, Jack had always known how to break her down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked her again, softer this time, murmuring the words against her ear.

"I don't know," she confessed, realising that now that he knew, none of the old arguments made sense. He hadn't moved on, and neither had she. After almost nine months, they were back where they started, albeit with the added complication of a baby that was due any day now.

In spite of the uncertainty, it felt good to be this close to him again, to smell the scent of his skin, and the feel the warmth of his breath and his tears against her neck. She wanted to stay this way forever, curled up as close to him as their baby would allow, but she knew that sooner or later she would have to give him an explanation. A real explanation, because she did know, though she doubted he would ever understand.

Kate took a deep, shuddering breath to slow the tears that were staining Jack's shirt. Then she pushed him away gently but decisively, stepping back to look him in the eye for the first time since his arrival. "We should talk," she said.

He nodded silently, and she led him to the same table where she had told her father all those months ago. She could monitor his reaction better there, and it didn't hurt either, that they would be separated by a substantial block of wood, so that there could be no confusing rush of emotions like there always was when he was close enough to touch. She wanted to keep a clear head through all of this.

"Do you want anything to drink?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood, though she was conscious of the fact that she was stalling. Glancing over at him, where he sat, looking so out of place, at her father's kitchen table, she realised that she had no idea what she was going to say to him. "We've got coffee, tea… my dad's blood pressure has been kind of high lately, so we've got some of that weird camomile stuff that tastes like stewed flowers. It's calming," she added with a weak smile, though it wasn't really a joke.

"No," he said, and Kate could see that he was growing impatient. "What I'd really like is for you to come over here and talk to me. You said we should talk, so talk."

Kate eased herself into a chair across from him, staring at her hands as she fidgeted nervously with last two fingers on her right hand. She'd stopped biting her nails again, but at this moment, she was tempted to resume the habit. "I don't really know where to start," she told him, wondering how in the world she was ever going to convince him that what she'd done to him was right.


	12. Chapter 12

Now do you all see? In typical Kate fashion, she had to detach herself from what was happening by convincing herself that Jack had rejected her. By not coming to Seattle, he gave her the ammunition she needed to forget him. (She has a slight victim complex, this girl!) If she thought she could never go back, then she could justify shutting him out by insisting that she was doing him a favour (Which she wasn't). But, in the words of Jin, everything's going to change in this chapter, now that Jack has shown up in Seattle and proven her wrong…

Chapter 12. Consequences

"So start at the beginning," Jack said, wishing there was some way he could get her to answer all of his questions at once. "Tell me what happened after we were rescued." He waited a moment, watching her play with her hands on the other side of the table, before adding, "Why did you leave, Kate?" Though he tried to sound sympathetic, he wasn't sure he succeeded in keeping the hurt from registering in his voice.

"You know why, Jack," she said, her voice cool, almost defiant, while her eyes betrayed her vulnerability. Even though she was talking to him now, explaining, he still felt like she was testing him, seeing how far she could push him away before he gave up on her completely. It was almost as if she wanted him to leave, to prove that he couldn't handle this. Then she wouldn't have to guilty about lying to him, or walking away, because he was the bad guy, not her. They'd been through this too many times before; the whole routine was starting to get old.

"I couldn't go to jail," she continued, her eyes pleading with his to try to see things from her side. "When we were with The Others, and they locked me in that cage, I thought I was going to go crazy. I couldn't do that again."

Jack wanted to be sympathetic, he really did, but as always, his own wounded feelings got in the way. "Then why didn't you at least tell me that you were running again?" he asked.

"Because I knew you wouldn't understand," she said, sounding almost defeated. "You've always wanted me to do the right thing, and I can't. I thought it would be easier if you weren't involved anymore."

"So you just left?" he retorted, his pain finding an outlet in anger as always. Who was she to decide what was best for him? He was a grown man, he didn't need her to protect him, least of all from herself. "Did it ever occur to you that I might want to come with you?"

She was prepared for that question. "Yes," she said quietly, "it did. But we both know it could never happen, Jack. You have a family, and a job, and a life back in L.A. I couldn't take you away from all that."

"But you were okay with taking our baby from me?" He was getting childish, he knew, but she brought out the worst in him sometimes. The best, and the worst.

"I didn't know, Jack," she said simply.

That wasn't good enough for him, not after all of this time. "At first," he reminded her. "But after that? You've had eight months to tell me. You couldn't have just picked up the phone and said 'Hey, Jack, how've you been? By the way, I'm pregnant'?"

Her defense was flawed, and she knew it. She looked away from him guiltily. "I knew you'd be angry."

"I'm only angry because you didn't tell me," he tried to explain. "You didn't think I had a right to know?"

"No, I knew that," she said, meeting his eyes again. "I knew you'd be hurt, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry for a lot of things."

Jack hoped she wasn't going to apologise for their relationship again. He'd been completely honest with her when he'd told her that he didn't think it was a mistake, but he was beginning to feel like she did. It was confusing, the way she fell into his arms, while at the same time refusing to agree.

She didn't apologise again, pursing her lips, then saying, almost out of the blue, "I didn't find out until I got back to America.

"After I left, in Sydney, I got a job working on a sail boat like I did for a couple of summers. I figured I could earn some money, fly under the radar for a while, at least until I figured out where I was going.

"After a few weeks, I started to get sick. Just nauseous at first, but then I started throwing up. I'd been around boats before, so I knew it wasn't seasickness. A week or so after that, I missed my first period, and I knew.

"When we got in to San Francisco, I took a test. You were so close, I thought about going to see you, but I was scared. I didn't know if you would ever want to see me again, so I headed north instead.

"I wasn't … I wasn't going to have it at first," she confessed, her eyes glistening with tears of remorse. "I figured neither of us could miss something we never knew. Something we never really wanted. But the more I thought about it, the harder it was to imagine not going through with it.

"I never had big dreams like you. I never really wanted to go to college, or even have a career. All I ever really wanted was a family, a real one. I always thought I'd marry Tom, and have a couple of kids, and that would be my life. Then all that stuff with Wayne started happening, and I just felt it slipping further and further away from me. I never thought I'd be a mother, not after Kevin."

Her eyes lost their faraway look as she focused on him. "You changed all that. You made me believe that I could have a second chance." Kate smiled at him, the first smile he'd seen from her in almost nine months. It warmed his heart to see her looking almost peaceful, even momentarily; she was always so sad, the rarity of her smile making it more beautiful than any he'd ever seen. "That's how I felt, when this happened.

"I know it was selfish to drag a baby into all of this, but I just wanted it too much not to try. So I hopped a Greyhound to Seattle, to my dad. I was only going to stay a couple of weeks, until I figured things out, but for some reason, I never got around to leaving. I guess I didn't want him to feel like he was losing two people this time."

When she finished her story, Jack was silent for a long time. It was a lot to digest all at one time, particularly the part where she told him she'd considered terminating the pregnancy. If she had, even if he'd seen her again, he would never have been the wiser. Even if it complicated his life in ways he was only just beginning to comprehend, he was glad that she hadn't. He was glad that in the end, she'd given him a choice.

"I understand why you kept the baby," he said finally, "I never would have asked you to do anything else, but what I still don't understand is why you kept this a secret from me. You had to know that I would never abandon you, either of you," he added, wanting to make it clear to her that he was prepared to assume full responsibility for the child.

"That's why I didn't tell you," she explained. "I didn't want you to ruin you life over this."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "What would your patients say if they knew, Jack? What would your mother say? Do you really think anyone is going to let you operate on their children when they find out you knocked up some white trash fugitive you met on an island?"

"It wasn't like that," he insisted, shocked to hear her phrase it that way. Was she just playing devil's advocate, or did she really believe that that was what happened? That he only thought of her as an island fling, a rare and impressive notch in his bedpost?

"I know that," she said, dispelling at least some of his fears. "But they don't.

"I'm no good for you, Jack, we both know that. We were crazy to think this thing with us could ever work."

It sounded like she was giving him the brush off, but Jack wasn't ready to admit defeat, not after all they'd been through. "That's your problem, Kate. You give up too easily.

"When things get too hard, you don't deal with it. You just head for the hills, and all of the trouble you're in just keeps following you.

"What were you going to do if things didn't work out with the baby? Leave it on your father's doorstep? Mine? You can't keep running forever, Kate. Sooner or later you have to stop and face the mess you've made."

Jack expected her to lose it at him for that outburst, to kick him out and ask him never to return.

But she didn't. She just sat there, quietly submissive, staring at her almost non-existent lap, as she took in his words. "What are we going to do, Jack?" she asked finally, her eyes full of fear, regret, and tears. Jack couldn't remember ever seeing her cry so much, though he knew her tears were caused by more than hormones. Like him, she wished that she could take it all back, so that they could raise their child in peace. But they both knew it was too late for that now; eventually, the law would catch up with her. There would be consequences to her actions; how could there not be? Society didn't just let you get away with murder.

He shook his head sadly, wishing there was some way he could fix this, some way he could fix her. "I don't know," he said. "I wish I did."


	13. Chapter 13

You guys keep telling me you like Sam, so here's his perspective on Jack's arrival in Seattle. (He'd never say, "I told you so", but he'd certainly think it.) There's not a lot of Jate stuff in this chapter, but it made me smile when I wrote it, so hopefully it will more than make up for that. Next chapter I'll be returning to Kate's perspective, then probably Jack, as the pattern seems to be going. The baby will probably be born in that chapter, but I'm not sure yet. I'm trying not to rush things too much, because I want the story to flow naturally.

Chapter 13. You're Welcome

When Sam arrived home from work that afternoon, there was a strange car parked on the curb at the end of his driveway. Fear seized his heart as he got out of his own car to inspect it, but it didn't appear to be law enforcement issue. It was a Magna, the kind of car an executive might drive on a business trip. It could have been the FBI's, or some government department's, he supposed, but the presence of an overnight bag on the passenger seat made him doubt it. If the Feds had come to arraign his daughter, they'd be travelling much lighter, intending to take her in the same day. Whoever owned the car obviously didn't know how long they'd be in Seattle; they clearly hadn't come for such a cut and dried purpose.

Seeing the rental sticker in the window, he made a mental tally of the cost of renting the latest model of such a car indefinitely. It wouldn't come cheap; one idea as to the owner sprang to his mind.

Gathering his belongings from the backseat of his own car, Sam let himself into the house, hardly daring to hope. Kate wasn't in the living room as usual, so he headed down the short passage to the kitchen, stopping short in the doorway at what he saw there.

There, on the other side of the table from Kate, was Jack, his expression solemn as he listened to her talk. He couldn't hear what they were saying, their voices were low, intimate, not intended for his ears, but he could tell that the conversation was emotionally-charged; they were still in the process of working through respective baggage.

Not wanting to intrude on such a private moment, Sam retreated back down the passage, intending to go out again, but they must have heard him come in, because a moment later, Kate appeared in the living room, a wearied-looking Jack following on her heels.

"Hi, Daddy," she said, smiling almost brightly, though he could tell from the pink rims around her eyes that she'd been crying not that long ago. "You remember Jack?"

It wasn't really a question, but a reminder, a reminder of his betrayal of his trust, his meddling. Sam didn't feel guilty though, not now that the doctor was standing in his living room, dazed, but obviously not fazed enough to flee back to L.A. He hoped that one day, when all of this was behind them, she'd appreciate what he'd done for her, for both of them. Already, though it was marred by the uncertainty of her future, she looked happier than he'd seen her in years, since the last summer before she'd found out about Wayne.

"Of course," Sam said, his heart melting at the sight of the returning sparkle in her eyes, the note of teasing in her voice. "It's nice to see you again, son." He held out his hand and Jack shook it warmly, though the doctor's eyes returned to Kate once the pleasantries were done.

Sam could sympathise with what the young surgeon was going through; though he'd had almost seven months to prepare himself for the sight, he still couldn't get used to the fact that his daughter was pregnant. Once slim and agile, she was now almost slower than him in his advanced age, her demeanour changing along with her body. She was no longer as impatient, as erratic and desperate; at times she could be almost still. The change wasn't always for the better though; he'd long wished that she'd slow down, but now that she had, the memories were starting to catch up with her. He heard her cry out in the night sometimes, and he wondered what she was dreaming about; he'd been in the military for almost thirty years, to Korea and Iraq, and yet she'd seen things he couldn't even begin to imagine.

It seemed like only yesterday that she was a baby herself, completely dependant on him for protection. As much as he loved her for all of her faults, some days he wished she was, so that he could do it all over again. He couldn't, of course, but he felt like by bringing Jack into her life he'd helped her, even if she'd tried to fight him on it.

"How long are you in town?" he asked, hoping Jack would stay in Seattle for more than the one night. Kate and the baby needed him here, not least of all because Sam had no idea how to deliver a child, and he knew his daughter wouldn't go to a hospital. He couldn't even get her to visit an obstetrician, though he knew she longed to see her baby, even if it was only on a monitor. Sam had never even seen a birth firsthand; Kate was born back in the days when fathers still weren't allowed in the delivery room. She told him that she'd delivered a baby herself once, on the island, but he didn't trust that she'd be much help to him when the moment came.

Jack exchanged a look with Kate; they obviously hadn't talked about this. "I haven't really decided. A couple of days, maybe. We're short staffed at the hospital, so I probably won't be able to stay away for much longer than that."

Sam was disappointed, though when he remembered the determination with which Jack had insisted he would never come to Seattle, he couldn't help but think that the young surgeon would change his mind again. Once he saw that baby, he wouldn't be able to stay away for too long. "Well, it's just good to have you here," he said, unable to resist adding, "I'm sure Katie's told you that already." She shot him a look, but didn't protest.

"Do you kids have plans?" he asked, and they looked at each other again. Obviously they hadn't discussed that either. Sam supposed they had more important things to sort out. "Because I was thinking, if you wanted to stay for dinner Jack, that I'd make my famous meat loaf. It's probably not the best you've ever tasted, but it's pretty much the only thing I know how to cook beside as barbeque."  
Jack laughed, and nodded in agreement. "Sounds good."

"Okay then," Sam said, clapping his hands together. It had just been him and Kate for so long, he was looking forward to having what passed for a real family dinner, and to getting to know the father of his future grandchild properly. "I guess I'll leave you two alone to catch up."

Passing her on his way to the kitchen, Sam squeezed Kate's shoulder, smiling almost smugly at her. "You're welcome," he whispered, as she returned his grin, her eyes communicating what her words never could.


	14. Chapter 14

I've finished the new Kate chapter, so I'm putting that up along with Sam's. I think it will be your favourite so far (Jack and Kate are done fighting, and they're ready to kiss and make up. Well, not yet, but maybe next chapter, or the chapter after). It's definitely one of my favourites (although I think that about all of them when I finish), the Jate equivalent to chapter 13. Enjoy, and if you're feeling generous, let me know what you think.

Chapter 14. Promises

After dinner, Sam went to visit some friends, so that Jack and Kate could have the house to themselves. Settled on the couch with him some time later, Kate was aware of how strange it was, after six months on an island, with nothing to do but walk and talk and play golf, to be doing something as mundane as watching TV with Jack.

They weren't really watching, of course, they were both too distracted, each wondering what to say, as if it had been their first date. In some ways it was. Kate had seen him every day for months, had lived with him in a makeshift shelter on the beach, but now that they were back in civilisation, she wasn't sure how she should relate to him, especially after so much time.

She'd seen him at some of his best and worst moments, saving a life, or seeking revenge, but she had no idea what his favourite movie was, or which side of the bed he slept on. She didn't know if he was the kind of guy who talked during the previews, or squeezed the toothpaste from the wrong end, or let his answering machine pick up the phone so he didn't have to talk to people he didn't like. She didn't know what kind of car he drove, or what his house looked like, or if he got along with his mother. She didn't know if he was the kind of guy who helped with the housework, or drank milk straight from the carton and put it back when it was empty.

She could guess the answers to a lot of these things, but she didn't really know. There was a lot she still didn't know about Jack, and yet she was having his baby. It was a scary thought, almost too scary.

"What's your favourite movie?" she asked, following on with her train of thought, though the question must have appeared out of the blue to him.

He looked surprised, but considered this. "I don't really know," he said seriously. "I haven't seen a movie in a long time."

"Me neither," Kate said, "Except to hide out. I can't remember the name of the last one I watched all the way through."

"Maybe we should go to one some time," he suggested. "We could probably both do with the fun."

Kate turned to stare at him in surprise. "Did you just ask me out on a date, Jack?" she teased.

He grinned at her, a little sheepishly, "Yeah, I guess I did," he said, and they both laughed at the absurdity of the situation.

They sat quietly again for a while after that. Kate was the first to break the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.

"What do you think's going to happen to me, Jack?" she asked. "Honestly?"

Jack stared at the TV, reluctant to answer the question. "I don't know," he said. "But I was thinking, maybe after the baby's born, you could come with me to L.A. One of my dad's old friends is a lawyer there, a good one – he's never lost a case. He'd be discreet – we could go see him, get some advice. There might be some loophole…"

There was a beat. He looked so hopeful in spite of his obvious doubt that Kate was almost afraid to ask the next question.

"If I go to jail, you'll take care of the baby, won't you?"

"Of course," he said, taken aback. They hadn't discussed it yet, but Kate knew that to him, this was a given. He was in this for the long haul, with or without her, but even so, she needed to hear him say it.

"You won't work too much? You said your father was never around. Mine wasn't either, or my mother. I want you to be there for her if I…" her voice cracked, and she couldn't continue, but she knew that he knew what she meant. What she was asking.

He didn't answer; she could see the anguish in his eyes at the prospect of raising their baby without her. She knew he could do it, they both did, but that thought brought little comfort to either of them, least of all Kate. It was selfish, but she wanted to be there. She didn't want to be the one to miss out.

Changing the subject, Jack backtracked the conversation as he realised what she'd said. "Her? You think the baby's a girl?"

Kate was sure he must have seen the sadness in her eyes as she said, "Yeah, I do. I don't know how I know exactly, I've never even had an ultrasound, but I do."

Jack looked thoughtful as he considered this. "A little girl, huh? My father would be so disappointed." A smile lit up his face as he added, "At least I won't have to worry about pressuring her into the family business."

Though her heart still ached at the idea of being separated from them, his growing excitement was so palpable, so sweet, that she couldn't help but be cheered up a little. "You'll just spoil her instead," she teased.

He didn't try to deny it, he just continued to grin, and she could tell he was already thinking about piano lessons, and ballet recitals, and pink: pink clothes, pink curtains, and matching pink bedding. On his salary, she knew he could afford it all. Their daughter would never be without anything. Except…

"It wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it? If she turned out like you?" Kate said, hoping for about the millionth time that his blue blood would overpower the faulty genes she and her baby had inherited from Wayne. She didn't want her daughter to be trash like her and her parents; she wanted so much better: college, a career, a clear criminal record… a future, the kind she'd never had.

Jack was oblivious to these fears; Kate wasn't sure she'd ever discuss them with him, but he must have sensed the general implication of her words, because he smiled at her gently as he said, "No, I guess not. I hope she has your freckles though. You must have been a cute kid."

Kate laughed, her mood lightening again as she brought herself back to the moment. "Trust me, once she gets to about fifteen, she'll wish she didn't. I can't tell you how many hours I spent in front of the mirror, trying to cover mine up."

Jack grinned at her, trying to picture this. The mood changed again as he said seriously, "I hope she has your eyes too. Then I'll have to give her whatever she wants."

Kate's heart leapt as he looked at her again, his dark eyes searching her own. He leaned towards her slightly, but he didn't kiss her. It was too soon for that. They weren't ready. Not yet.

He turned away from her, breaking the spell, his eyes glued to the screen again. When he turned to her again, he was wearing a coy smile, and Kate knew what he was going to ask before he did. "When do you think…?"

He was being playful, but she treated his question seriously, admitting that she'd been wondering the same thing herself. "I don't know. It could have happened any time. We were on an island – we weren't exactly being careful."

Guilt flashed through his eyes; spontaneity had never been his strong suit. Even if he wanted the baby now, even if he couldn't imagine any other future, Kate knew part of him would never forgive himself for letting it happen. He just wasn't the kind of guy who got girls pregnant, at least not without marrying them first.

"I kind of think it was that night, the night before the rescue ships came," she said finally.

He smiled at the memory. "That was a good night. They all were."

Kate returned his smile, almost shyly. The atmosphere between them had changed again; it was almost intimate, like it was during their last days on the island. "Do you want to feel it?" she asked, deciding to take the risk of letting him touch her again.

He looked at her questioningly, searching her eyes for contradictions. She nodded to show that she'd meant it.

Slowly, Jack reached out and placed his hand on her stomach, letting it linger there while they waited. Even through her shirt, Kate could feel the electric warmth the contact generated, but she didn't push him away this time.

They were both so still that when the baby kicked again, it startled even her. A grin spread over Jack's face, brighter than ever as he said, "That's amazing."

It was, but still she teased him. "You're a doctor, you've felt babies before."

"Yeah, but this is… different…" He struggled to find the words. He didn't have to say it though, because she knew exactly what he meant. It was different.

"You should have told me, Kate," he said, his eyes sad at the thought of all the milestones he'd already missed. All of the moments they could never have back. "In the beginning. I wish I could have been there."

"You were," Kate told him softly. "I never really left you. You were with me the whole time." She knew it would never be enough, but she wanted him to know that she still loved him, that she'd always loved him. Their baby had only strengthened the bond between them; though they'd spent the last nine months separated by state lines, she'd never stopped thinking about him.

He nodded, accepting what was in some ways a confession, some an apology. "Just do me a favour," he said, his eyes uncompromising on this point, "and promise me you'll never leave again, not without fighting."

Jail was probably inevitable for her, but Kate knew that if she could find a way to stay with him, she would. She placed her hand on top of his, over the baby, making an oath to both of them. "I promise."


	15. Chapter 15

This chapter's fairly short, and I apologise, but after writing more than 15,000 words in one week I'm a little burnt out. You said you wanted to see more of Sam and Jack together, ms metaphor, and I know you all like Sam, so here it is, the last Sam chapter, in which Sam and Jack come to an understanding about Kate. At the moment I've only got two more chapters planned: a Jack one, where Kate has the baby, and a Kate one, where the baby gets a name, and Jack gets an answer about L.A. I may extend that, however, because it doesn't feel quite right. If there's anything else you think I should resolve, let me know. There will be a mention of the other survivors in the next chapter also. I don't think I've ever written so much so fast before! The words of encouragement from you guys have definitely helped, so thanks, and keep it up.

Chapter 15. Not Losing A Daughter, But Gaining A Family

Jack and Kate were still on the couch together when Sam returned later that evening. Kate was asleep, her head resting against the doctor's chest. He had wrapped one arm around her, and was watching her inhale and exhale lightly, his hand resting over the baby. Sam was going to slip past them, to bed, but Jack looked up from her and saw him, offering him a small, albeit distracted, smile.

"She looks peaceful, doesn't she?" Sam said, going over to stand by the couch.

Jack's smile widened. "Yeah. It's a nice change."

Before Sam could say anything else, Jack patted her stomach gently, as if saying goodbye to the baby, and reluctantly took his hand away. "I should probably get going," he said. "I came straight here from the airport, so I haven't found a place to stay yet." He looked down at Kate again, his expression softening again with unmasked affection. "If she wakes up, tell her I'll be back in the morning." He went to shift out from underneath her, trying not to wake her, but Sam stopped him.

"You came all the way here to see Katie – you shouldn't have to go to a hotel. You can stay here tonight, on the couch, or in her room if she wants. I'll leave that you to you two to decide." When the young surgeon looked surprised, he added, amused, "I'm not a prude, Jack. She's a big girl, and there's nothing the two of you can get up to that you haven't already."

Sam changed his tone again, seizing the rare moment alone to have a serious word with Jack. He sensed that it wasn't really necessary, but he wanted to be sure that there was no misunderstanding between them. Kate had been through enough in her life, he wouldn't tolerate her being hurt again, her or her baby. There wasn't much he could do for her anymore, but he could do this. She was a big girl now, but he was still her father, and this was a father's prerogative.

"All I'm asking is that you be careful with her," he said. "She's fragile, so don't start anything with her again if you aren't prepared to finish it."

Jack nodded seriously, understanding. "I won't, Sergeant… Sam," he agreed, remembering Sam's words from the hospital.

He paused a moment, then added, "You don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere. I've asked her to come back to L.A. with me, after the baby's born."

"That's good." Sam knew he would miss having Kate around, and his grandchild too, but it was for the best. It was natural. She needed to be with her family, which at the moment, didn't include him, not in the way it once had.

It would be some time before Sam got used to the fact that he was no longer the most important man in his daughter's life, but he was learning. Because this time, he wasn't just losing a daughter, he was gaining a family. They all were.


	16. Chapter 16

Okay, I lied, there's no baby is this chapter, no Kate even, really. There's also no sex, if that was what you guys were thinking, because unfortunately, that's not what I write (as you guys have pointed out, I revel in the emotional side of things). Instead, there's just Jack thinking about the future, and about Kate and the baby, which I hope is better than graphic sexuality, since it's definitely much sweeter. I know I said I'd mention the other survivors, but I've bumped that back to chapter 17. The birth should happen in chapter 18, and the name and L.A. answer in chapter 19. Or I might add another chapter in there somewhere, just to make it an even 20. Enjoy.

Chapter 16. The Right Thing

Jack didn't want to wake Kate after her father left, so he spent the night with her on the couch, shifting her gently onto her side so that he could lie down beside her. He was exhausted after the long and surreal day he'd had, but he didn't sleep, not at first. It was a relief to finally be alone to reflect, without feeling like he had to put up a front. Without her watching him, waiting for him to give her a reason to withdraw from him again, he could be selfish; free to sort through his own complex emotions, without having to factor in hers.

Trying to ignore the way his heart raced, feeling the warmth of her breath on his neck again after so long, Jack made a mental checklist, considering each question carefully before answering it. Even if she never asked, and he sensed that she wouldn't, not until their fates were sealed, and she didn't have to fear his rejection; even if it never came up, he needed to know what he would tell her if she did. He couldn't be the father, or partner, he wanted to be until he was sure of his own mind; he needed to know that he was committing himself to her again because he still loved her, not because she was pregnant, and it was the right thing to do. He needed to know that if he married Kate, it wouldn't be like Sarah, that things would be different this time.

Watching her smile and stir unconsciously in the darkness, drawing herself closer to him, he asked himself the first question: Was he glad he'd come to Seattle?

Of course, the answer came to him simply, decidedly. He might never have known about their baby if he hadn't.

Did he want?

Yes. His feelings were surprisingly clear on this subject. He hadn't even known it was a possibility until a few hours ago, but now that he did, Jack couldn't imagine going back to L.A. without it. Without either of them, for that matter.

Was he sorry?

A little. It shouldn't have happened this way. In a perfect world, he would never have considered bringing a baby into their lives until Kate was free, and he could put a ring on her finger. It was a little old fashioned, maybe, for the twenty-first century, but that was the way he was raised. A child was a lifelong commitment, no different to marriage; Jack had never wanted to be the kind of man who treated women like objects, abandoning them once they'd satisfied his needs.

Was he going to propose then?

It was an interesting question; Jack wondered what would happen if he woke her up right then, in the middle of the night, and asked her. She'd turn him down, he knew, without really having to consider it, especially if she thought he was only doing it because of the baby.

So, no, not right away, but maybe someday soon. She'd say no if he asked her tomorrow, or the day after that, but if things went well with the lawyer…

Did he think that they would?  
Not really, but he couldn't allow himself to consider a future where they didn't. Even if there was nothing they could do, they had to try, if not for themselves, then for the baby. As the child of absent parents, Jack could safely say that no child should be forced to grow up without its mother, especially not a girl. There would be moments when, for all his love and desire to do right by her, he wouldn't be able to help his daughter. She'd need her mother then.

Even so, the idea of losing Kate only made Jack want a little girl all the more, because even though she wasn't with him, he'd see her every day in their daughter.

Finally, and perhaps, most importantly, did he still love her, Kate?

Yes. Without a doubt. For almost nine months, he'd thought of nothing else.

For almost forty years, Jack had done the right thing. He'd listened to his parents, too well, never cheated on a test, or a partner (except if you counted that one kiss with Gabriella, but to be fair, Sarah cheated too, worse), worked hard, paid taxes, told the truth, saved lives. He'd done the right thing, and it had brought him nothing but trouble. He'd lost his father, his wife, he'd almost died in a plane crash; it had taken six months on an island for his mother to speak to him again without venom.

According to the black and white criteria he'd always judged his actions on, Kate wasn't the right thing. She wasn't safe. But contrary to her fears, Jack didn't care about the scandal his relationship with her would cause, because to him, she was perfect, flaws and all. She was one of the most gentle, loving, beautiful human beings he'd ever encountered. She cared too much, that was why she was in so much trouble: because she couldn't let Wayne kill her mother, because she couldn't live with their betrayal, because Wayne was disgusting, both as a father, and a man, because she'd loved Tom, because she was too soft and fragile for prison. She'd never survive it; that was what made her situation so heartbreaking. Kate Austen may have been a criminal in the eyes of the law, but that wasn't who she was. She was a good person, and the love of Jack's life. For once, he was going to do what he wanted, what was really in his heart, instead of the right thing.


	17. Chapter 17

I know I said I was burnt out, but your reviews motivated me to keep going, so here is chapter 17. It jumps forward about week in the time line, so let me know if you think it's too sudden – I know you would have liked to have read about all the days I only briefly mentioned, but it would have gotten tedious, believe me, because nothing much happened. The next chapter should be exciting though – Kate will finally have the baby…

Chapter 17. A Few Hours Away

When Kate opened her eyes again, she was surprised to find Jack still on the couch with her. "It's morning," she said, scrambling off of him, though this late in her pregnancy, she was finding it difficult to sit up on her own.

"You fell asleep," Jack told her, laughing, as he took hold of her arms, helping her to sit up on the cushion beside him.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Already missing the warmth of his body against hers, Kate rubbed her eyes, trying to remove the last vestiges of sleep. After months of interrupted nights, she felt surprisingly refreshed; even the baby had seemed less active in his presence.

"You needed your rest," he said, ever the doctor, though she thought she saw something that looked remarkably like guilt flash across his face. Whatever it was, he converted it with amusement, flexing his elbow to improve the circulation as he added, "I'm starting to wish I had."

"Sorry." Kate winced, embarrassed and a little guilty that on top of everything else, she'd given him a dead arm.

"Don't be. You were tired." Jack's face softened, his eyes full of concern for her; it didn't look like he really regretted spending the night with her again, even if they were both fully clothed.

"What time is it?" she asked, wondering what her father would say when he woke up and found Jack still there. She wasn't sixteen anymore, and she obviously wasn't a virgin, but she still wasn't sure how he'd feel about her spending the night with a man under his roof.

She didn't have to worry, because according to Jack, he already knew. "7:30. Your dad just left. He told me to tell you not to worry about dinner, just to enjoy your day. He'll bring something home."

Kate knew her father was a reasonable, if not indulgent, man, but this surprised even her. They were both adults, yes, and she was pregnant, but it wasn't like she and Jack were married, or even engaged. They weren't even technically together at this point, although after last night, she was pretty sure that that was what they both wanted. "He was okay with you spending the night?"

"Yeah. He's pretty great, you know. You're lucky," he said, a little wistfully, thinking of his own father, no doubt. "The last few years can't have been easy for him."

"I know," she sadly, regretfully. She couldn't begin to imagine the pain she'd caused him in the last four years, both intentionally, and through no fault of her own. Even if she lived a hundred years, and gave him ten more grandchildren, she didn't think she could ever lessen the hurt.

Jack picked up on her mood, steering the conversation away from the past, and the chain of events they could do nothing about now. "Hungry?"

Kate didn't know how much longer they had together; she didn't want the little time they might have by brooding, so she laughed and answered, as good-naturedly as she could, "I'm pregnant, I'm always hungry. I actually ate steak last week, can you believe it?"

By the look on his face, he couldn't; he'd tried to get her to eat boar on the island, but she'd stubbornly refused, even after the third month, when she'd became anaemic. "Then why don't I make you guys breakfast?" he said, standing up and helping her to her feet.

Kate smiled, and assented, willing to eat just about anything, even steak, to see him look as sunny, and adorably domestic, as he did that morning. He was right, she was lucky: lucky to have two such amazing men taking care of her.

They spent the rest of the day together, cooking, watching TV, and talking about the island, and their friends. Kate hadn't seen anyone since the rescue, so Jack filled her in: Charlie, Claire and Aaron were living together in L.A.; Sun and Jin had a six-month old daughter; Desmond and Penny had married last month; Sayid was seeing a woman named Nadia; Locke was a camp counsellor; Sawyer was in Salt Lake City last he'd heard, and Hurley was apparently a lottery winner.

Kate laughed as he described the way the Latino man had been trying to pay everyone back for the wagers he'd lost. "He still owes me twenty grand," she said, thinking back to the day, just over a year ago, that he'd predicted that she couldn't hit a golf ball past the hanging tree. She'd managed the feat with pretty minimal effort, but she'd never expected to see the money. Like all the bets they'd made on this island, it had all been in fun.

Jack laughed too, shaking his head. "Well, I'm sure you'll get it," he said.

Jack was due back at work the following evening, but he pushed his return back another day so he could spend it with Kate, waiting for the baby to arrive. He called the hospital twice, once on his second day in Seattle, and again two days later, but by the end of the week, when the baby still hadn't put in an appearance, he had no choice but to head back to L.A. temporarily. He didn't want to leave her, but Kate assured him she'd be fine for a day or so, while he went to talk to the chief of staff in person.

Even though Jack agreed that she was probably right – they weren't entirely sure of her due date – he still promised to return the same day. She told him that he was being paranoid, that one flight was enough for one day, especially with their history, but he was determined to be in Seattle again before she went to bed that night, so in the end she let it go. She knew he'd never forgive himself if he missed the birth, especially if something went wrong. She'd never forgive herself either; she wanted him there, not just as her doctor, but the baby's father. Through her own pigheadedness, he'd missed too much of its life already.

About an hour after he left for the airport, while her father was at work, Kate's back began to ache, more than it usually did this time of morning. She tried to tell herself that it was normal, that everything was supposed to hurt more in the last days of pregnancy, but it still scared her, because she remembered hearing somewhere that that was the first sign of labour. She wasn't sure, but she thought she remembered Claire saying the same thing: backache first, then the contractions started, and it was too late to slow the whole thing down, no matter how hard you tried.

It couldn't come yet, not until tonight, when Jack and her father were home. Not for the first time, she hoped that the baby hadn't inherited her restless spirit, because she needed it to stay put until Jack got back. He was only a few hours away…


	18. Chapter 18

In addition to chapter 18, I have two apologies for you guys: firstly, I apologise for not updating yesterday, but to be fair, you did get two fairly long chapters the day before, and a long one today, so I'm still doing pretty well. Secondly, I know I promised you a jaby in this chapter, but it obviously doesn't take after Kate, because it's taking its time. Or maybe it just inherited her stubbornness… It didn't feel right yet, but enjoy the chapter anyway, and I'll update again as soon as I can. I'm not comfortable with the idea of writing a gory or melodramatic birth scene, so I'm still trying to figure out the most tasteful (and as always emotional) approach to take here. I've never had a baby myself, so I'm not sure what Kate would be thinking besides "ouch" or maybe "they were right about abstinence", but I was thinking it might be interesting to start the birth with Jack, then cut to Sam (I know I said we were done with him, but I'm sure, by your comments, that you guys won't mind an encore chapter), since, as hard a time as both Jack and Kate will obviously be having, it can't be easy for the poor guy to stand out in the hall and listen to his daughter in pain. Let me know what you think, anyway, keeping mind what I said about gore / melodrama. I know Kate's in Seattle, so I could be clever and have Addison Montgomery-Shepherd deliver the baby, but given the number of Grey's Anatomy / Lost crossovers I've seen lately, maybe we should just stick to the idea that Grey's is a TV show in the Lost universe, and vice versa. Anyway, enough babble. Keep up the reviews and I may even be finished by the weekend.

Chapter 18. L.A.

The chief of staff was in surgery when Jack arrived at the hospital. He wouldn't be out for at least another hour or two, so Jack paced up and down the hall between the O.R. and the nurses' station, resisting the urge to call Kate. Depending on her mood, he knew she'd only laugh and tease him, or get irritated with him for being overprotective. He just had to trust that she'd call if she needed him, rather than stubbornly try to handle the situation without him, since she was the one who'd sent him away again.

In the end he called Claire to keep his mind off his unease, filling her and Charlie in on everything that had happened to him since he was last in L.A. They were both ecstatic about the coming baby, but they also understood the gravity of the situation, listening sympathetically as Jack explained his plans to take Kate to his father's lawyer.

"Hang in there, mate," Charlie said. "Five minutes with her, and anyone can see she's not a psychotic criminal who deserves to be locked up."

"I'm sure she had a good reason for whatever she did," Claire agreed a little more tactfully, and Jack could imagine her playfully swatting his arm and berating him as soon as they'd hung up the phone.

It was uncanny, how much they reminded him of an old married couple, especially when he saw them with Aaron. He wondered what he and Kate would be like with a baby. Would strangers look at them and assume they'd been together for years, like they did with Charlie and Claire? Or would they be able to tell that the baby wasn't planned by the strained way they interacted with each other? Would Kate even be there with him, or alone, five states away, in an Iowan prison? Jack wanted to promise himself, and her, that he'd move closer to be with her, but with his hours, he knew he wouldn't be able to raise the baby alone without the help of his mother and the other survivors.

Before Jack ended the conversation with Charlie and Claire, he asked them to do him a favour. He'd leave them a credit card, and a spare key, along with specific instructions as to what he wanted them to do. Claire agreed readily, but Charlie was miffed that Jack hadn't called sooner to deliver the news. He'd known them before anyone, he said, since their second day on the island, when the three of them went to the cockpit. In the end, Jack appeased him by letting him call dibs on being the baby's godfather, though he was quick to remind him that he'd have to talk it over with Kate. Ignoring the disclaimer, Charlie joined Claire in assuring him that it wasn't too much trouble. They'd have everything ready by the time Jack brought Kate and the baby back to L.A.

The chief still wasn't out of surgery when Jack hung up the phone, so he resumed his pacing, his stomach twisting up into knots as he realised that he could be on a plane back by now.

Another tense hour passed before the chief emerged. Jack pounced on him as soon as he left the O.R. Walking back with him to his office, he explained about Kate and the baby, leaving out the details of her legal status, and focusing on Seattle instead. The chief nodded seriously, waiting until he'd finished to respond, but Jack couldn't help but notice the surprised, slightly disappointed look that crossed his face as he related the story. This was the kind of thing other doctors did, but not him. Jack had always been better than that.

It bothered Jack to be lumped into the same category as some of the sleazier doctors and surgeons he'd met, but in the end he realised that he'd have to let it go for now. There would be plenty of time for him to show everyone how serious he was about Kate later, when the baby was here, and they'd put the whole business with Wayne behind them.

Walking out to his car once the meeting was over, and he was a free man for at least the next fortnight, it occurred to Jack that he should probably prepare his mother before word got out through the hospital grapevine. She had known the chief for years, since he and Christian were interns together, so there was every chance that he or his wife would call to congratulate her. If he hadn't told her first, Jack didn't want to be there when they did. Margo Shephard didn't take humiliation very well; while Jack could handle her himself if he had to, he didn't want her taking it out on his family. She wouldn't be too happy to begin with; she'd probably accuse him of being like his father, who he knew had been a bit of a womaniser. Jack didn't want to give her any extra ammunition; he wasn't sure she'd ever warm to Kate, a wanted farm girl with no prestige or college education, but he wanted her to be civil, at least.

He glanced at his watch. It was two o'clock.

The next flight to Seattle wasn't for another hour.

He still had to stop by his house so he could pick up a few things, and leave a key for Charlie and Claire, but if he hurried, and there wasn't too much traffic, he might have time to visit his mother as well.

Jack was just pulling into his driveway when his cell phone rang. He checked the display; he didn't recognise the number, but worrying that it might be Kate or her father, he went against his inclination and answered it.

It was Kate, her breathing heavy and erratic as she choked out his name. She was trying not to cry, for his sake, but he could still hear the pain and guilt in her voice. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you to go," she said, making his stomach clench with fear.

It was irrational, he knew, but his first thought was that she'd lost the baby somehow. That she'd fallen, that it was stillborn, that she was bleeding and heartbroken, that it was his fault because he wasn't there, because he hadn't made her go to a hospital, because he'd listened to her when she said she was fine. He should never have taken her word for it. She wasn't the doctor, he was. It was his job to take care of her, of both of them.

His heart was racing; he had to take a deep breath before he could answer. "It's okay, Kate, it doesn't matter. Just tell me what's happening."

When she didn't right away, only sobbed, he added, "Are you okay? The baby?" Though he tried to stay calm by reminding himself that a miscarriage of any kind was unlikely this late, the fact that she'd never seen an obstetrician terrified him, because it meant that anything could be wrong with her or the baby. His knowledge of reproductive medicine was limited; if things didn't go smoothly, he was out of his depth.

"It's coming," she said simply, and Jack relaxed a little. She hadn't had the baby, it was still safe, and so was she. For now. "I started getting pains after you left, but you were already on the plane by then," she explained, gasping as another contraction hit her. "It hurts, Jack."

"I know," he said distractedly, his mind stuck on something else she'd said. "Why did you wait so long, Kate? Why didn't you call me as soon as it started? I would have come straight back."

"It took so long with Claire… I didn't think things would start happening this quickly. I thought you'd be back in time." She choked on another sob, and he could see her there in the kitchen, doubled over in pain, teeth gritted, trying to be brave, to be right. Was it too much to ask to be allowed to help her sometimes? It was maddening, the way she tried to prove to him that she didn't need him, that she was strong and independent, when he needed her give him something, some sign that he wasn't completely superfluous. He wasn't, of course, because he was always bailing her out of something; he just wished she would accept it so that they could move on.

She was too emotional to tell him much; pain and fear were garbling her answers, so he figured the conversation would go faster if he talked to Sam instead. He needed to give him instructions anyway, just in case he didn't make it in time. "Kate, where's your dad?" he asked, hoping that if he wasn't there already, he was on his way.

"At work," she said. Apparently she hadn't called him.

"Okay," he said, vowing to do that for her as soon as he got off the phone. "Then I need you to describe to me everything that's happening, okay?" He tried to make his voice as soothing as he could, but fear and stress were affecting his ability to be patient with her. He needed to keep an even temper though, yelling at her wouldn't do either of them any good.

She didn't answer, whimpering as another contraction bore down on her, but he had the sense that she was nodding, so he continued. "How far apart are your contractions?"

"Ten minutes…" She sounded uncertain, too uncertain for him to trust her answer.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She still didn't sound too convinced, so he decided to work on the assumption that they were actually a little closer together than that, eight, maybe seven minutes apart. "Has your water broken?"

"No."

Good. They still had time. It she went to a hospital now, they'd turn her away, telling her to come back when it had.

The next question scared him, because he didn't know what he'd do if she said yes, but he had to ask it, just in case. "Are you bleeding? Does it feel like anything's wrong?"

Fortunately, he never had to figure it out, because her answer was another "No."

Jack let the breath he was holding. So far everything sounded normal. All she had to do was hold on. "Okay, well I need you to relax," he said, though he could have been talking to himself as much as to her. "Try to stay calm. I'll call your dad, and we'll both be there as soon as we can."

He expected her to say something then, to tell him to hurry or just to agree, but she was silent, her laboured breathing the only sound from the other end of the line. He waited, losing the serenity he'd so carefully cultivated for himself when she spoke again, her voice rising an octave from the panicked tone he'd heard before. "Jack…?"

"Yeah?" He felt his stomach tightened again as he awaited her next words.

"I think… I think it just happened. I think my water just broke."


	19. Chapter 19

Sam is back by popular demand in this chapter, chastising Jack and comforting Kate. Still no Jaby, but to make up for it, I'm going to do something that makes perfect sense to me, but that I've never seen done in one of these fics – I'm going to illustrate what Kate was talking about when she said that because of Wayne, she'd never have anything good, by showing how her relationship with him affects her relationship with her unborn child. I'm pretty sure said child will arrive next chapter, but then I've been wrong before, so you probably shouldn't listen to me. It will definitely be soon though. As a little teaser, I won't tell you the baby's sex, or its name, but I will tell you its initials: SAS. The first S won't stand for Sam though…

Chapter 19. Legacy

Sam was in the middle of a conversation with a potential recruit, but he answered the phone on the first ring. "Katie?" He'd been on edge all week, knowing each day could bring that call. This call.

"No, it's Jack," said the man's voice on the other end. He obviously wasn't calling from the house, because Sam could hear the competing voices of a crowd in the background. Motioning to the young man to excuse him, he stood up from his desk, shoving papers into his briefcase so he could be out of there as soon as he got off the phone.

Knowing he wouldn't like the answer, but also knowing that it was important, he asked the obvious. "Where are you?"

The truth was worse than anything he could imagine. "At the airport. In L.A."

"L.A.?" Sam couldn't help but be incredulous. He'd left for work fairly early that morning, but the last time he'd seen Jack, after dinner the previous night, the doctor hadn't mentioned anything about travelling interstate. Last he'd heard, Jack had no plans to leave Seattle until after the birth, when Kate and the baby well enough to go with him.

The doctor let out a sigh on the other end. "It's a long story, but the upshot is that the hospital wouldn't give me any more time off over the phone. I had to come down in person to explain the situation."

Sam's unease increased as he thought about the real reason Jack must be calling him from L.A. "Katie's not there with you, is she?" he asked, though he knew the answer. Of course not.

Jack sounded remorseful and guilty as he said: "No. Even if security wasn't still a problem, there's no way they'd let her fly at the moment."

"So you left her at home. Alone." Sam would have liked to be more sympathetic, but he couldn't quite understand how, if Kate couldn't be trusted not to go into labour on such a short flight, Jack, a doctor, could have been so naive as to believe that this wasn't a possibility while she was landlocked at home.

If it were possible to hear someone cringe over the phone, then Sam would have heard the young surgeon do just that. "Yeah," he said, clearly aware of how stupid this decision had been.

"That wasn't very smart, Jack."

"I know, believe me. You have no idea how much I wish I didn't listen to your daughter." His voice was embarrassed, self-deprecation. He knew he'd made a terrible mistake, and he was already beating himself up over it.

"That wasn't very smart either," Sam said, his own voice softening. Sure he was disappointed, he'd expected Jack to take better care of his daughter, but there was nothing he could say that would make the surgeon feel any worse than whatever he was telling himself. "That girl has no idea what she wants half the time. She told me she was over you. Twice. Fortunately, I've learned not to take her words at face value."

Jack sighed again, sounding almost defeated. He knew all this already. "I guess I'm still waiting for the day that she actually says what she means."

"Me too, son," Sam said, his heart going out to the younger man. He knew how much Jack wanted to be there for Kate; there was a very real chance that this one error in judgement would cost him dearly.

"Sam—" Jack began, his tone urgent, but Sam cut him off.

"I know," he said calmly, dropping the last of his papers into the briefcase. "You want me to go home." Sam secured the clasp, gathering up what remained of his lunch, his hat, and keys. "I'm on my way."

"Thanks." While Sam knew the doctor would rather it be him, he sounded grateful that at least one of them would be there to help Kate bring the baby into the world. Still, he hoped it wouldn't come to that. As a soldier, Sam had a pretty strong stomach, but he didn't think he could handle the sight of his little girl in so much pain. "How long does she have?"

Jack considered this, answering clinically, though Sam could still hear the fear, remorse, and disappointment in his voice. "That depends on how quickly she progresses through the final stages of labour. She said her water broke, and her contractions are about six or seven minutes apart at my guess, so it could be a few hours, or half an hour. There's really no way to tell without actually being there." He tried to sound detached, but his voice rose in frustration on the last few words.

Sam took a deep breath, trying to recover the calm anticipation he'd felt when he'd answered the phone. "And if it is only half an hour?"

"I'm going to give you instructions, so that you can deliver the baby yourself."

Driving home, Sam replayed the conversation over and over in his head, trying to crystallise every detail of Jack's words. While he knew Kate had enough knowledge to help him if he got stuck, he didn't want to have to rely on her too much; she needed to concentrate on her own part in all of this.

He found her sitting on the kitchen floor, the phone beside her, leaning back against the cabinets as she sobbed quietly to herself. Wordlessly, he took her into his arms, and she collapsed against him, whimpering softly. Her contractions were closer than six minutes together now; he knew that without having to ask, because each time one hit her, he felt her body jerk with pain.

"It's okay, baby," he whispered, rubbing her back gently, like he had when she was child. "Jack's going to be here soon, you just wait and see." He meant the words to comfort her, but in saying them, he was also trying to reassure himself. He couldn't watch his daughter go through that pain, not just the physical pain of childbirth, but the pain of being alone again, not when he'd done everything he could to make sure that she wasn't.

She nodded tearfully, letting him ease her gently to her feet. Together, they made their way to the stairs, taking them slowly, one at a time, until they were on the second floor.

Once they were in her room, Sam helped her into bed, turning his back while she changed out of her wet jeans. She was a grown woman now; while she'd been staying with him, he'd given her space, only entering her private domain on the rare occasions that she invited him in.

It had been so long since he'd been there as her father, not a guest; it felt strange to him now, standing in the room where he'd tucked his daughter into bed, reading to her, and later, counselling her through the trials of adolescence. He hadn't changed a thing in the four years she'd been lost to him; her toys, books and childhood trinkets were still on the shelves where she'd left them, posters from her teen years covering the pony wallpaper he'd helped her choose when she was nine.

Everything was as it had been the last time she'd stayed there, only now a bassinette stood beside the double bed, marking her transition from daughter to mother, and maybe even someday, wife.

"Daddy?" she said softly, bringing him back to the moment.

"Yeah, Katie?" Sam turned back to see her sitting against the headboard in her pyjamas, watching him with those sea-green eyes that were still a mystery to him. They weren't her mother's, and they weren't Wayne's; like so many things about her, they seemed to be entirely her own.

He went to sit beside her on the edge of her bed.

"I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, for everything," she said, fidgeting with the bedspread before looking him in the eye. "Having this baby has made me realise that you must have wanted so many things for me. I'm sorry I let you down."

"You didn't let me down, Katie," he told her, meaning every word. "You're beautiful, smart, caring… if I hadn't—"

"It's okay, Daddy," she said, cutting him off. "I don't blame you for what Mom did."

"You shouldn't blame yourself either." She looked away, but he crooked a finger gently under her chin, bringing her eyes back to his. "You can't help the situation you were born into any more than that baby of yours can."

She was silent as she looked down at her swollen stomach, where her baby was still preparing to make its entrance into the world. He hadn't meant to hurt her with those words, but when she looked at him again, her eyes were full of tears. "What if I can't do this, Daddy?" she said, breaking his heart as she added, "I've tried, but I can't forgive him for being my father… for tainting me… what if I can't love the part of this baby that's him, that's Wayne?" She looked at him imploringly, begging him to ease her fears.

Sam wanted to believe that she was being irrational, that it was just pain and hormones and the reality of her situation that was making her say these frightening things, but he knew that that wasn't the case. He could see it in her eyes; she really did hate herself, or at least a part of herself, the part she'd inherited from Wayne. The part her baby would inherit from her. Understanding this, Sam felt like he finally understood why she'd done it, why she'd killed him. He'd killed a part of her first. That was why she couldn't move on, because he was always there with her, under her skin. She'd erased him from the face of the earth, but she could never erase him from herself. As much as she wanted this baby, it was his legacy.

But it was her legacy too. Though he knew he'd never be able to convince her of this fact, Sam was certain that whatever the baby inherited from her would more than cancel Wayne out.

"You don't have to," he said softly, speaking from experience. Before he'd met Kate, he'd never thought he would be able to see past the fact that she was Wayne's flesh and blood, and not his. But he'd loved her mother, and that was enough in the beginning. "Because if you can't, you just love the part that's Jack's. The rest will come."


	20. Chapter 20

I apologise for leaving you guys hanging there, but between having to work (retail, ick! It really does take the magic out of Christmas…) and electrical storms, I wasn't able to update yesterday. I'm updating now, though, and to make up for it, here are two new chapters. I know those of you who read Stay With Me enjoyed Jack's fear at having to operate on Kate, so I'm pleased to tell you that there's plenty more of that here, since this time, he has two people to worry about. (See, you just had to have faith. The whole story was about Sam bringing Jack and Kate back together, as if he was going to miss the birth…)

Chapter 20. Time

When Jack burst in through the front door a few hours later, Sam rushed down the stairs to meet him.

"Thank God," he said breathlessly. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it."

"I didn't… she hasn't…?" Jack trailed off, his surprise mixed with relief, and pity for Kate.

Sam's voice was full of concerned as he answered, "No, poor kid. She's still in labour."

Jack felt his stomach tighten again. While he accepted that the process was slower with first time mothers, he also knew that a long labour was often a sign of a difficult birth, especially if the baby was breeched, or it or the mother went into distress. He had to resist the urge to panic as a thought occurred to him: They'd never seen a specialist, never seen the baby, what if it was too big? What if it couldn't be delivered through natural childbirth? What if she needed a c-section? She was so stubborn, so determined to lay low; would he be able to get them to a hospital in time? "Have you been timing her contractions?" Jack asked, his mouth dry. If she hadn't made any progress since he'd spoken to her, then he would have legitimate cause to panic.

"Yes. We're down to about two minutes now," Sam said, and he relaxed a little.

Two minutes. That was good. That was normal. "It won't be long now. How is she?" After this morning, he didn't trust her to tell him the truth. He needed to hear it from someone else, someone who knew her, who could tell when she was lying, or at least not being completely honest.

"She's okay," Sam said, picking up on his anxiety. He gave Jack a small smile. "She's not exactly doing back flips, but she's tough. She gets that from her mother." He looked far away, thinking about the past, Jack thought, and his ex-wife, who, from what Kate had said, he had never completely gotten over. He'd never re-married, never even dated after the divorce; his whole life had been Kate and his job after that.

When Sam focused on him again, his expression was sad, though for his wife or his daughter, Jack couldn't tell. "You know, Diane was in labour for almost twenty four hours. By the time Katie was born, she was about ready to cut her out herself. I hope it doesn't last that long for her."

"Once her contractions are about a minute apart she'll be able to start pushing," Jack told him, hoping it would help him to hear that they were nearly at the finish line. "Shouldn't be more than half an hour."

Sam still looked troubled, but he managed a weak smile for Jack. "Guess you'd better get up there then, son."

She was lying on her side, staring into space, her eyes glazed with tears and pain, but she smiled when she saw him. "Hi."

"Hi."

Crossing the room, he would have said more, but she cried out with her next contraction, face crumpled in anguish, and he felt a pang grip his heart, wishing there was some way he could ease her suffering. Even if it was only a little.

He didn't have an epidural, or even any painkillers he could be sure wouldn't hurt the baby, so he did the next best thing.

"Get up," he said, taking her arm gently so that he could help her support her weight.

She looked at him incredulously, too shocked to pull it away. "What? I can't, Jack."

"Yes you can, because I'm going to help you." Jack eased her off the bed, in spite of her protests, lifting her onto her feet.

Her legs were shaky, but when he let go, she was able to stand, not straight, but still on her own.

"Put your hands against the wall, and turn around," he instructed.

She was too weak to argue, so she did he said, leaning against the wall for support. Once her back was to him, Jack put his own hands below her waist, gently massaging the area at the base of her spine, where he knew it hurt the most.

She peeked over her shoulder, watching him mistrustfully at first, but slowly, he felt her body begin to relax.

"Better?" he asked, taking his hands away once her breathing was less shallow, and her expression didn't look as pained.

She closed her eyes, sighing tiredly, and leaning into him. "A little."

"Good." Jack stroked an errant lock of hair out of her eyes, kissing her temple, and helping her back into bed.

The relief he'd given her was only temporary, however. Almost as soon as he'd let go of her she was breathing hard again, her body tense, biting her lip as her face contorted in pain. She didn't scream, Jack could tell she was trying to be brave for him, but the exertion of keeping silent left her little energy for anything else. She was so wrapped up in her pain, he wasn't even sure she heard him when he spoke, whispering words of comfort that sounded unconvincing, even to him.

It was almost time now. Her contractions were barely a minute apart.

"You're going to have to start pushing soon," he said, perched beside her on the edge of the bed.

She nodded weakly, leaning back against the headboard, and Jack wondered how she was going to find the strength. If there was a miracle happening here, it was that. Though he knew what to do from medical school, he'd never actually witnessed a birth up close. Seeing Kate's struggle to bring their child into the world made him appreciate, not only her, but his own mother as well. Once all this was over, he'd have to call her. She deserved to know what was going on in his life, even if she couldn't find it in herself to approve.

Jack leaned closer to Kate, coaxing her eyes open. "I'm going to let your father know what's happening," he said, "then when I get back, we're going to do this."

She didn't move as he pressed another kiss to her damp forehead, but as he stood to leave, her hand shot out and grasped his wrist. "Don't go," she said, her eyes pleading. "I need you."

"I know," he said softly, remembering her father's words, and sensing that this wasn't just about him leaving the room. "I'm sorry I went to L.A."

"I shouldn't have told you I was fine," she whispered. "I should have told you I was scared. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't make it back."

"Fortunately we never have to find out." He met her eyes, signalling to her that he'd accepted her apology, and she signalled back that she'd accepted his, and that she really didn't blame for abandoning her today, or all those months ago in Australia. It was all in the past now, it didn't matter. All that mattered now was the baby, their future.

Sam was waiting for news at the top of the stairs, his pale eyes wide and anxious. Jack filled him in, gathering the things he would need: towels, scissors, hot water, thread, laying them neatly, clinically, on the bedside table once they were sterile.

"I'm sorry I won't be able to hold you hand," he told Kate, regretting that today of all days, he had to be the doctor.

He wanted to be there for her, like a normal father to be, to hold her hand, to whisper in her ear, and kiss her once it was over, ignorant of any complications, and of the danger he was putting them both in. He wished he could be gentle with her, not tough, that he could comfort her, that someone else would be the one to hurt her, to push her, not him, when it killed him to see her like this. But he was the only doctor here. He could wait for someone else, or both of them would die.

"It's okay," she said. "I'm glad it's you. You're the only person I'd trust with our lives."

Jack smiled to reassure her, but her words made him feel sick with fear. She trusted him. What if he let her down?

"Are you sure you don't want me to get your father in here?" he said, hoping a little moral support would take the pressure off of him a little, but she shook her head.

"No. This started with just the two of us. It feels right that it should end that way."

End? Jack froze for a second, hoping that her words wouldn't be literal, that she was just talking about her pregnancy, not them, or the baby. Everything he had in the world, everything that mattered to him, was here in this room. He couldn't lose her, couldn't lose the baby, not when they'd both lost so much already.

If he was a religious man, he would have prayed, but since he wasn't, Jack did the only thing he knew would help him loosen the knot of fear in his chest.

He counted.

"One… two…"

Kate smiled, remembering. She looked just as scared as he was, but hearing the numbers again seemed to help her too.

"Three… Four…"

Jack took a deep breath, and so did she. This was it. It was time.

"Five… Ready? Push!"


	21. Chapter 21

This chapter's only short, but since, like I said, I didn't want to write a gory birth scene, it was a good transition between Jack preparing to deliver the baby, and him seeing it for the first time in chapter 22. I'm still writing that, so I'm afraid you'll have to wait, but hopefully it'll be worth it. Then, in chapter 23, the baby will get its name. I'm going to do something a little less common and have them name it something meaningful to them, rather than just choose a name that I like (my favourites are Harrison and Isobelle at the moment, if you were wondering, so it could have had one of them) or one of the names half the jabys on this site seem to have (Sam, Christian, Tom etc). It should be pretty sweet, I hope, especially since I'm going to work in a call back to something Locke said to Jack in Exodus. I won't spoil the surprise here though, you'll just have to wait and read. And review. Otherwise I'm going to have to start guilting you all. I'm thinking of changing the summary to something hyperbolic, so that more people will read my story. Maybe something like "THE AWESOMEST FAN FIC EVER, WHICH BY THE WAY, DOESN'T INCLUDE SAWYER FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STILL HAVE ISSUES". Maybe that will get people's attention. Or perhaps not. Still, I think I need to make the summary sound less like they break up, and Kate gets together with Sawyer. Why oh why did Ana have to die? I'm going to stop babbling, but firstly, I just want to ask, did Kate really tell Jack she loved him at the end of the fall finale? Or imply it? Or is it just wishful thinking on the part of the fans? I haven't seen season three yet, but I keep seeing fan fics about that scene, so I was just wondering how much of it actually happens. Unfortunately, I know that that thing with Sawyer really happens. Like Jack, I've seen the incriminating pictures.

Chapter 21. Listening

When Sam heard Kate cry out for the first time, it was all he could do to keep from running into the room.

He'd been on several tours, to Korea and the Gulf. He'd heard gunfire up close, heard the death screams of men little more than children. But still, her scream was the most grating, heart-wrenching sound he'd ever heard.

It was natural, sure, and it would be worth it in the end, but that didn't make it any easier to listen to.

She was his baby, his little girl. He never wanted her to feel pain, real pain, even if he knew she would be rewarded at the end. He wondered how Jack could stand it. If her pain was difficult for him to bear, it must be torture for Jack, at ground zero.

Sam was on the point of moving downstairs for the duration, when his daughter's keening cry ended, replaced by a new sound.

A baby.

Her baby.

And just like that, all of the pain and the torment of the last few moments was washed away, because while Kate's scream was the worst sound he'd ever heard, his grandchild's lusty voice was definitely the best.


	22. Chapter 22

I know you guys have been waiting a long time for a jaby, so hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait. You'll finally get to find out its sex (in the first line too!), and as an added bonus, there's more angst, more sweetness, and something, two more things actually, that I know you've all been waiting for. Enjoy, and let me know what you think. Next chapter we'll see Sam's reaction to his new grandchild, and then I will unveil its name, and the meaning behind it, and Kate will finally decide whether or not she's ready to stop running. There will also be more on Jack's surprise, the one Claire and Charlie are helping him with. I'm sure you can all guess what it is though, and what it means.

Thanks to everyone who answered my question about I Do. I was pretty sure that was just wishful thinking on the part of Jaters everywhere.

By the way, make sure you all keep checking that I haven't put more than one chapter at a time. I do that sometimes, so you might want the chapter before the most recent, or you'll miss something. Only one today though.

Chapter 22. One Night

The first thing Jack noticed about his daughter was her hair. It was dark and wispy, but curly like Kate's. He couldn't wait to hold her properly later, to kiss the top of her head, and feel its downy softness against his lips, but he was still the doctor here. His job wasn't done yet.

She was about twelve inches long, small, but a good size for a newborn, fitting perfectly into the crook of his arm as he lifted her into the world. He cleared her throat, and she sucked in a deep breath, wailing instantly, but it didn't take her long to quieten down. As he drew her close to his chest, she opened her eyes, looking up at him, so old and wise, and yet so young at the same time. He couldn't wait to show her everything: their home, the beach, his hospital, their family and friends, maybe they could even take her to the island one day. It was as much a part of her life as it was theirs, maybe more, since it was where hers had begun.

Jack had expected her eyes to be green like her mother's, or brown, but they were blue, not blue like his father's, or Sawyer's, like he had feared when he first found out Kate was pregnant, but that murky, dark, newborn blue that meant she was still deciding. He hoped they would eventually turn light green, but if she chose brown instead, he knew he'd be just as proud.

"It's a girl, like you said," he told Kate softly, snapping out of the private universe he'd retreated into with his daughter. There would be plenty of time for him to bond with her later, once Kate had had her turn. He held the infant up so she could see it, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. "You did well."

She beamed at him through her tears, aching and exhausted, but happier than he'd ever seen her.

She flopped back against the pillows while he checked their daughter over, closing her eyes, but she opened them again when he offered the slippery infant to her. When she didn't move to take her herself, he wondered at her hesitance, settling the baby carefully on her chest in the end. She just stared at it for a moment, her expression stiff and unreadable as she watched their daughter kick her little legs and wriggle, balancing so precariously Jack had the urge to snatch her back. But then her whole face crumpled, and her arms went up around her, and she was kissing her tiny head and crying, whispering something that he couldn't hear.

"Hey, hey, hey," he said, forgetting to be the doctor for a moment as he knelt down beside her, sweeping her sweaty curls back so that he could see her face properly. "What was all that about, Kate? I thought you wanted this baby?"

When she ignored him, avoiding his eyes and focusing on their daughter instead, he pressed her, adding, "Talk to me. Please."

Kate took a deep breath, slowing the tears he knew weren't tears of joy, and whispered, "Before she was born, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to love her, because… because of Wayne. But now that she's here… I never thought about what would happen if I did." She looked up at him, her eyes glistening with fresh tears, and if anything, he was even more confused by this explanation.

"That should be good thing, Kate. You're her mother, you're supposed to love her," he said gently, but this only made her cry harder.

"I can't… I don't want to get any more attached… I wish I could just give her to you, and not care what happens to her, but I can't… I want to be there, Jack. I want her to know me, and I want to know her."

Listening to her sob, clutching the baby to her heart, something inside of him clicked, and Jack finally understood why she was so upset. She was facing life imprisonment; by the time she saw the outside world again, if they would even parole her, their daughter would be a grown woman. Even if he brought her to visit every day, it wouldn't be the same as actually being there. She would watch her grown up, but she would never get to be her mother. No wonder she was afraid to acknowledge the depth of her feelings. She didn't want to make the separation harder.

But it wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't let it.

"Listen to me," he said, laying one hand against her cheek, and leaning in so that his eyes were level with hers. He wanted her to know her was serious, that this wasn't a fantasy, it was real. "You are not going to prison. But you're not going to run again either, not if you want our daughter to have a real life.

"We're going to court, and we're going to win. And if we don't, we're going to appeal, again and again, as long as it takes. You're not going to prison," he repeated.

He wasn't sure she believed him, but she nodded, and the tears stopped. He stroked the side of her face gently, softening his voice as he added, "Today is the most important day of our lives. We'll never get it back, so please, let us just have this one night. We'll worry about the future in the morning."

She nodded again, and he pulled both of them into his arms. He held her for a moment, content just to be close to her again, her and their baby, but as he pulled back, his eyes locked with hers, and their lips met for the first time since their reunion, slow and sweet, but with desire and passion that hadn't faded in their months apart.

"I love you," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers when it was over.

"I love you too." She smiled tiredly at him, shifting their daughter so that she was nestled in the alcove between their chests, and they both looked down at her, the embodiment of these words. "She's so perfect," Kate murmured, bending to kiss her again.

Jack smiled, wishing that he could stay in this moment forever. Right now, tomorrow seemed so far away. "Of course she is," he said. "She's ours."


	23. Chapter 23

You guys have to tell me if you think I'm being too sappy or melodramatic in places, okay? I'm trying hard not to cross either of those lines. It's funny though, the lines where I think I've gone too far tend to be the ones you all tell me you love, so maybe my judgement in this matters isn't as bad as I think. This chapter's fairly short, Sam meeting his granddaughter, so it's in danger of being a little saccharine. No more than the last though. I'm going to build up to the name, then in chapter 24, Kate will explain it. I haven't done her impressions of the birth yet, so it will probably be her POV. That should be up later today, or tomorrow. It'll be a lot of talking, so I'm trying to figure out how to make that interesting.

Chapter 23. Hey Kiddo

When Jack joined Sam in the hall a while later, he leapt to his feet. But before he could ask, the doctor grinned, answering, "She's fine. They're both fine. It's a girl."

"A girl…?" To Jack's apparent surprise, Sam reached out and pulled him into an excited hug, laughing and slapping him on the back. "Congratulations, son," he said, releasing him, and Jack recovered his grin.

"She wants to see you."

Sam followed Jack into his daughter's room, where she was waiting for them. She was sitting, propped against a pile of pillows, in fresh pyjamas, the baby swaddled in a pink blanket against her chest. Though her face was still pale, and her eyes were weary, she smiled happily at him as he entered the room, making his way to her side.

When he bent to kiss her check, she shifted the little bundle in her arms so that he could see her baby better.

"She's beautiful, Katie," he murmured, reaching out to touch the baby's cheek. It was so soft and smooth, red but not mottled like most newborns', taking him back almost twenty-nine years, to the last baby he'd held like this. His granddaughter was asleep, but she stirred at the contact, opening and closing her tiny, perfectly formed mouth in what looked like a yawn. "She reminds me of you when you were a baby."

Kate didn't say anything, but she smiled proudly at him, her grin widening as she offered him her daughter. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I?" Sam sat down on the bed beside her, and she eased the little pink bundle into his arms, cooing softly to make sure she stayed asleep through the transfer.

She didn't, but she didn't cry either, looking up at him with wondering dark eyes.

"Hey kiddo," he choked out, overcome with emotion at the sight of this perfect little child he never thought he'd live to see. "I'm your grandpa." He felt his eyes tear up as she struggled in her blanket, freeing one tiny fist as if to return his greeting.

Breaking the spell, he handed her back to Kate, his eyes travelling from his daughter to Jack, who was the picture of a proud new father, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, watching over them serenely. "Have you two thought of a name yet?" he asked, unable to resist adding, "Because Sam makes a pretty good girl's name too, you know."

"I know, Daddy," Kate said, laughing at his brazen request, "but that's going to get a little confusing with all of the time she'll be spending here.

"That's why I was thinking," she began, surprising him. He wouldn't have objected if they'd decided to name their daughter after him, but at the same time, he hadn't really expected them to take him seriously. "If it's okay with Jack, that we'd make her middle name Austen, in honour of you, and the fact that no matter whose blood she shares, that's what she'll always be – what we'll both always be."

Jack nodded his approval, and Sam felt himself tearing up again. It surprised him, how much of a sentimental old fool he'd turned into over the past few months, although he'd always been like that when it came to family, especially Kate. He hugged her, careful not to squash the baby, and shook the doctor's hand in gratitude. Then he returned to his spot on the side of the bed so that he could look at his granddaughter again. She really was beautiful, baby… Austen Shephard. "You still need a first name," he said, wanting to know what to call her. He was thinking about setting up a trust fund – unlike her mother, she was going to go to college, maybe even medical school like Jack – or taking out some sort of investment in her name, but he couldn't until he knew what it was.

"I sort of have one," Kate said, and even Jack looked surprised. She obviously hadn't discussed this with him yet. "It's been in my head since I found out she existed, since before I even knew if I was going to keep her. It's actually part of the reason I did."


	24. Chapter 24

Okay, here it is, the long awaited naming chapter. I hope it lives up to its hype, and that you all like what I've chosen. It's a bit hippy-ish for Jack in particular, but once you hear the reasoning behind it, I'm sure you'll all agree that it's the perfect name for a jaby. I think it's actually quite pretty, sad but sweet, like the whole Jate romance, and, I hope, this fic. At least it's not Sam, at any rate – which is a perfectly good name (It's actually my nickname. My full name isn't Samantha though), just overused in fan fics. Enjoy, and as always, let me know if you think I'm going too far.

Chapter 24. Solace

They were both looking at her now, Jack and her father. As she gathered her thoughts, Kate glanced down at her daughter, who had closed her eyes again, and drifted off to sleep, secure against her heat beat, like she had been for past few months. She was so beautiful, so perfect, so much like her father, the way her little brow furrowed like she was thinking, even now.

Her daughter was barely even an hour old, and already Kate couldn't imagine not bringing her into the world. She was so small, and seemingly insignificant, and yet she'd made everyone so happy, even Kate's father, who looked almost young again, planning camping trips and hunting expeditions, no doubt, with his granddaughter. Even if Jack was wrong, even if he couldn't stop it, and she went to jail, Kate took solace in the fact that they would always have her to comfort them, especially since she owed her existence to the crimes her mother had committed.

Wrapping her daughter up a little tighter against the coolness of the evening, and kissing her forehead gently, she met her father's eyes, then Jack's, beginning, "My life hasn't been perfect. In fact, it's been kind of a mess, since before I was even born." Her father looked guilty, and a little ashamed, but she didn't apologise. Once she'd finished, he would understand.

"I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, not the least of which is what I did to Wayne. I used to wish I'd made a different decision, but now… I still regret it, but I don't want to change it anymore." She shifted her gaze to Jack, knowing he'd already heard this part, but wanting him to hear the whole story this time.

"After it happened, when I was on the run, I thought that was it, that my life was over. I'd never be happy again. I tried once… but it didn't work out. By the time the marshal caught up with me in Australia, I'd pretty much given up. I was so tired, it was almost a relief.

"But then I met you, Jack," she added, smiling at him, "and suddenly I had a second chance. You saw the good in me, and I was able to see the good in myself again.

"When I realised I was pregnant, after the rescue, I was so amazed that something so good, so normal, could still happen to me. I thought I was cursed. I wanted to run from it, from her," she looked at her daughter again, asleep, her little fist grasping her shirt, finding it hard to that there was ever a time that she hadn't wanted her. "But I couldn't." Overcome with maternal affection, she kissed her daughter again, taking in the sweet baby scent that she seemed to manufacture all on her own. Kate had always thought that smell came from baby products: powders and creams and formula, but they hadn't used anything like that on her yet, and still she smelt amazing. She was sure that even if she'd never seen her baby, she would know her by that scent.

"Now that's she's here," she said, "I'm glad that I didn't, because seeing her, holding her, makes me feel like everything I've been through in the last few years, and even before that was worth it."

She gave her father a small smile as she offered him the pardon he'd been waiting for for a long time. He didn't have to feel guilty about lying anymore, about changing the course of her life, because good had come of it, along with the bad. "If Mom wasn't with Wayne, if I hadn't killed him, if I didn't run, I would never have been on that plane, and I never would have met you, Jack. Our daughter would never have been born."

She wasn't sure how he'd react to the next part, if he'd agree, but she pressed on anyway, hoping this realisation would help him come to terms with the past, like it had her. "If you hadn't been through all of that stuff with you father, Jack, and Sarah, you would never have gone to Australia, and she wouldn't be here either."

It was a long story, but she was finally nearing her point. "This baby is the one good thing to come out of all of the death, and abuse, and betrayal we've been through. She's our solace. That's what I want to call her: Solace."

(Hee hee... bet you never saw that coming, even though it was in the title, and it's been signposted!)


	25. Chapter 25

Sorry it took so long for me to update, but as I think I said before, I work in retail, so it's been crazy this week. I've finished chapter 25 now, so I'm putting it up – as you'll see when you read it, it's the last. I know there are some plot threads that are still a little loose, but since I really don't understand the US legal system, I'm a little hesitant. I am thinking of writing a sequel though, once I've had a break, and a chance to work on some original stuff, so we'll see. If I can think of a way for Kate to avoid jail that doesn't feel like copping out, I will probably do that. I may have to do some research first though.

Chapter 25. Destiny

After she finished speaking, Jack continued to hold Kate's gaze, carefully processing her words. In the craziness of the past few days, he had only allowed himself to consider their situation pragmatically and logistically; he'd never stopped to think about the chain of events that had led them to Seattle, to this moment. But now that he had, he realised she was right. Maybe everything did happen for a reason.

He knew that there would be people, his mother included, who would call their daughter a mistake, an accident, but seeing her, holding her, Jack knew he would never be one of them. He regretted a lot of things, but not this. This baby was one of the few things he'd done in the past few years that he was unashamedly proud of.

Jack was aware of Sam's presence, still in the room, but when he spoke, it was only to Kate. "Locke told me once, back on the island, that I believed in destiny, I just didn't know it yet. I thought he was crazy – he said a lot of crazy things in those days, but now, today… I think I understand what he meant. He was talking about the island, but what he said is just as true here.

"We shouldn't be together. You're right – we should never have met. But we did.

"As hard as it is to believe that he was right, that this is destiny, it's harder to believe that all this is as random as I would have told you it was a year or two ago." As Jack's eyes travelled down to their beautiful little girl, snuggled up in her blanket against her mother's chest, he added, "I'm not even sure I want to anymore."

There were tears in Kate's eyes again, but this time, there was joy in them too.

"Solace…" he said, trying it out. It was soft and feminine, rolling off his tongue, but best of all, it summed up his feelings about her exactly. She wasn't planned, like some would argue the child of responsible parents should be, but if they'd waited, she wouldn't have been as special.

"Solace Shephard." As she said it, Kate offered him a shy smile, and he wondered at the implication. Did she want to marry him, if not today, then some day? Or was this just for the sake of tradition? Should he take this as a hint, and propose to her now, or wait for something more concrete?

She opted not to offer him an explanation right away, drawing his attention back to their daughter as she added, "We could call her Solly for short if you think it's too formal."

Jack thought it was perfect just the way it was, but Sam piped up, "That's cute," easing himself up from the bed. "If that's decided, then I've got a few phone calls to make," he said, kissing the top of Kate's head, and grasping the baby's hand gently as he added, "Bye Solly."

"We're not telling anyone yet," Kate warned him, giving him a stern look. "Not until we find out what my options are. Just you, Jack's mother, and a couple of our friends from the island."

The old man smiled secretively, choosing not to respond. Instead, he laughed, kissed her again, and whispered something Jack couldn't quite catch, but that sounded like, "I'm really proud of you, Katie. For what it's worth, I think you're going to make a great mother."

Taking a last, lingering look at his granddaughter, he headed for the door, shaking Jack's hand again on the way out. "Congratulations again, son," he said. "Call it destiny, or whatever you want, but I'm glad that she met you." He nodded back towards the bed, to Solace. "You'll understand one day. As a parent, all you ever want is for your child to be happy. You've given me the greatest gift I could ever imagine."

Before Jack could say a word, he was gone, descending the stairs to the phone to make his calls. Whatever he was planning, Jack hoped he didn't spend too much. By now, Solace would have everything she needed back in L.A.

They were alone again now, the three of them. His family. It sounded strange to Jack, but the more he thought about it, to more he realised that it didn't really feel that way. It felt right.

He took Sam's spot on the edge of the bed, hesitating, but then thinking better of it as he leaned back against the headboard, pulling Kate and their daughter into his arms. She didn't fight it, sliding over to him, and settling back against his chest with a contented sigh. That kiss had changed everything. They didn't need to ask permission anymore.

"So Shephard, huh?" Jack said, running his fingers through her curls like he had so many nights on the island. There'd been no barriers then, physically, or emotionally – he could have asked what he was trying to ask without being afraid of her reaction. "That means you won't have the same last name as her." He tried to make his voice sound light, playful, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this was about her going to jail again. That she didn't think it mattered, because she wouldn't be there.

He was so sure being a martyr that what she said next surprised him. "For now."

Jack looked at her hopefully, and she smiled, giving him all the confirmation he needed. She wanted to marry him, just not right away.

That was okay. He could wait.

"Have you thought any more about L.A.?" he asked, knowing there was every chance now that her answer would be just as encouraging.

She had closed her eyes, giving in to her exhaustion, but she opened them again so that she could look at him seriously. "Yes."

"And?"

"And, I want to try. I think we should see a lawyer."

He had been dreading her answer for so long; Jack felt a wave of happiness wash over him, but he quelled it quickly, willing himself not to make too many plans. They still had a long road ahead of them; it could be months, maybe even years, before they would be able to lead what he had considered a normal life before the crash.

He enveloped her a little tighter, kissing the top of her head, her cheek, then finally, her lips. When he pulled back, he said, "I've got a surprise for you, in L.A. Charlie and Claire are helping me organize it."

"What is it?" she asked, her tired eyes lighting up as she considered this.

It was then that Jack realised he had never given her anything before, not unless he counted seeds, and things like that. He had never been in a position to, not like he was now. He couldn't wait to see her reaction. "A surprise. You'll have to wait and see."

She looked down at Solace, carefully tucking an errant foot back into the folds of the blanket, and he knew what she was thinking. He'd already given her the most amazing gift, but even so, he was looking forward to doing something special for her.

"How did you know I'd come to L.A.?" she said as last.

"I have faith in you." When Kate leaned, back, looking up at him, Jack added, "Deep down, you've always wanted to do the right thing, but you never had a reason before. You hated Wayne because he was a bad father, and an even worse human being. That's why you want to set a good example for Solace, even if that means facing up to the consequences of your actions."

She managed a little smile for him, amused at how well he could put something she barely understood herself into words, but when she spoke, her voice was decidedly bitter. "Whatever they turn out to be."

There it was again, that self-pity, that defeatism, the flaw in her character that had made her a fugitive, that had caused her to walk out on Jack once, but never again.

"Remember what you said once, about the 'whole glass half full thing' not being like me?" he said, and she nodded, defensive at the realisation that he was going to throw her words back at her.

Jack ignored this, latching onto the tiny glimmer of hope he saw in her eyes as she waited for him to finish. She wanted to believe him, but she wasn't strong enough to take that leap. She was too afraid of being disappointed again, now that she had so much to lose. "Well, I meant what I said before – I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. We're going to fight this, and we're going to keep fighting, until you're safely back with your family where you belong."

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but Jack cut her off. "You gave up on us once. I'm not going to let you do it again."

She stayed silent for a long time after that, but Jack could tell his words had had an impact on her.

She slept soundly that night for the first time since he'd met her, and when he called his father's lawyer the next morning, to make an appointment, she convinced him to take one the following day. He offered to stay another week in Seattle, so that she could spend more time with Sam, but she turned him down, packing her and Solace's belongings that night before they went to bed. Still tired and a little sore from the birth, she was the first one to the car the next morning, strapping Solace's capsule into the backseat, and kissing her father goodbye. After more than four years as a fugitive, she was no longer running from the eye of the storm, but heading into it, with the hope of finally seeing what was on the other side.

* * *

So that's it, the end of my fic. Thank you all for reading, and for your wonderful reviews. I was a little nervous about posting something in the beginning – I've seen some really negative comments on this site, but you've been nothing but encouraging. It occurred to me the other day that this story has largely been about three people sitting in a house in Seattle talking about their feelings while they wait for a baby to be born, so I hope that wasn't as tedious to read as it sounds. It was small, but I think that made it more intimate, so I hope you enjoyed that. Now that it's finished, I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say about my fic as a whole, so feel free to keep reviewing. 

If you didn't guess, Jack's surprise is a nursery, by the way. I picture in being pink and white, with a big bay window overlooking the beach, which I think is pretty fitting, since that's where Solace's parents met, and where she was most likely conceived. Obviously Jack didn't have time to oversee it when he went to L.A., but he gave Charlie and Claire specific instructions as to what he wanted. I know you all wanted to see Margo, but if I do a sequel, I promise you she'll be in it, disappointed, and probably advising Jack to get a paternity test. Once she gets over the shock, I think she'll embrace her only granddaughter though, particularly if she doesn't want to lose Jack again.

Thanks again. I hope you all have a merry Christmas, and a safe and happy New Year.


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